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Sons vs. Daughters: Most Prefer the Former. Not Me, However.

By Meredith Carroll |

Girls

I'm all about the girls (and don't really understand how others are not, frankly)

“If you’re lucky, the next one will be a boy, too!” my grandpa Teddy exclaimed to my sister just over 11 years ago following the birth of her first child.

With three daughters, three granddaughters and only one grandson, he had no qualms displaying unbridled enthusiasm about the fact that his first great-grandchild added a little testosterone to the family. However, most people will only ever proclaim publicly that a healthy child — period — is what will make them happiest.

In fact, “a healthy baby” is the near-automatic response of every pregnant woman when asked what she’s hoping to have. But obviously many, many people have gender preferences. In fact, as my colleague Danielle wrote earlier this week, forty percent said they’d prefer a boy to the 28 percent who said girl and the rest who lied and just said they just wanted a healthy baby.

Me? I’m part of the 28 percent. Like, really, really part of it. And boy, am I glad that I’ve gotten what I wanted (and that so far everyone is healthy, of course), which are girls.

Here are some of the reasons why I’m glad to be a mom to the fairer sex:

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Preferring One Gender Over the Other: It Happens. And I Just So Happen to Prefer Girls.

Hand-Holding

I still hold my dad’s hand. And my mom’s. In private. In public. And I cuddle with one or both when given the opportunity. I haven’t met too many grown men who will do that. I would miss that when my kids are grown, but now hopefully I won’t have to.

 

Images: Morgue File + Wikipedia

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About Meredith Carroll

meredith-carroll

Meredith Carroll

Meredith C. Carroll is an award-winning columnist and writer based in Aspen, Colorado. She can be found regularly on the Op-Ed page of The Denver Post. From 2005-2012 her other column, "Meredith Pro Tem" ran in several newspapers, as well as occasionally on The Huffington Post since 2009. Read more about her (or don’t, whatever) at her website. Read bio and latest posts → Read Meredith's latest posts →

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77 thoughts on “Sons vs. Daughters: Most Prefer the Former. Not Me, However.

  1. goddess says:

    Color me greedy. I wanted both. Had 3 sons and a daughter. Would have loved one more girl!

  2. D says:

    Hmmm, I think a few of your girl pluses may be stereotypes. I have two girls. My older daughter is most certainly not interested in cuddling all the time, we’re lucky to get a hug out of her. She is fiercely independent, and gets at least as dirty as the boys at school, if not more so. She’s also pretty partial to potty humor. My second is still a baby, so the jury’s out. I agree with your ideas in theory, but not necessarily in practice.

  3. Stacia says:

    Come on..you really hate SOLDIERS? I do hope you are referencing the toys/games and not the men and women who fight and die daily to defend your right to say that. And uh, as the WIFE of a soldier, a Patriot, an American, and a soon to be mother of said Soldier’s baby- rude.

  4. Meredith Carroll says:

    @Stacia — Of course I’m referencing the pretend kind.

    @D — Of course these are stereotypes. But stereotypes exist for a reason.

  5. Catherine says:

    I imagine this would be a much different article if the author had had a son instead of one of her daughters. I, myself, am fortunate enough to have one of each. And, I will be honest, I wanted only girls. And when I found myself pregnant with a boy first, I was slightly (very) upset. Thankfully, it took my son to blow all the stupid stereotypes out of the water. Yes, he likes guns, but he isn’t particularly messy or dirty, tells me constantly how much he loves me, asks for hugs and kisses and wants me to hold his hand, while simultaneously showing me how much I’d be missing if I didn’t have him pretending to be spiderman, saving his sister from Darth Vader, coloring, doing crafts, playing pirate, gardening with me, etc. He’s enviably beautiful and soulful and creative and loving. How did I ever wish he was something he wasn’t. My daughter is everything I wanted in a girl. Precious, delicate, strong willed, frighteningly smart, incredibly beautiful, fun to dress, loves pink and make up, and she loves to play with her big brother (they are close in age) doing the “boy” things he likes and he enjoys doing the “girl” things she likes. I guess I just find this article annoying because I struggled for a long time with gender disappointment when I first found out I was having a boy, and was SO desperate to have a girl, and if i was reading this as a mother who still didn’t have a daughter, I would be hurting even more and even more depressed thinking I was getting the short end. Because, like you are now, I truly believed in all the stereotypes you have just listed. Yay for you for getting exactly what you think you wanted. Trust, me, I fully know how it feels to not get what you want and how badly it sucks. But now I’m glad I didn’t get what I wanted at first. I learned a big lesson. And I’m not saying any of this to make you think you’re missing out by not having a boy, I think you love what you have regardless, even if you wish for pink of blue on hard days, but there is a reason baby girls are the hardest to adopt in this country. I do not believe that only 28% wish for a girl – at least not in the US.

  6. Linda t.o.o. says:

    I’s imagine both people with both don’t have a preference. ;)

  7. D says:

    You didn’t put anything in here about the mother-daughter drama either, which most of my friends with girls have going on. My sister has a girl and a boy, and she always says that my nephew’s boy behavior drives her crazy sometimes, but her loves her unconditionally. She has much more friction with my niece.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Wow. Is this written in jest? I find your stereotypes of both boys and girls offensive on so many levels. Babble editors–seriously? Perhaps to have a strong gender preference is something people with strong gender stereotypes are more likely to have?

  9. Jessica says:

    I have two boys and both of my brothers have all girls. Aside from the cuter clothes, I can already say I am SO GLAD I won’t have to deal with the girl drama. And my oldest niece is only 8. And as for any penis issues, well, that’s what they have a dad for.

  10. goddess says:

    Well, I guess since some of us have both we might be in the best position to see the stereotypes for what they are, and appreciate each child for his or her individual quirks, talents and strengths. Actually, feeling rather *expert* about it all Lindo2 ;-p
    And, really- if you have had both, it’d be pretty shitty to actually prefer one over the other afterward, now wouldn’t it?

  11. goddess says:

    Boys have drama too. They are called daughters-in-law, LOL!

  12. Kristen says:

    “stereotypes exist for a reason.”

    Really? Like “Blacks are lazy” and “Jews are greedy,” or are you strictly referring to the gender stereotypes present in this post? The only reason that stereotypes exist is because not enough folks call each other out on speaking them as if they are the truth.

  13. Mistress_Scorpio says:

    Stereotypes are a result of lazy and ignorant thinking by privileged types who don’t think they’re impacted by the negative effects of stereotyping.

  14. Linda t.o.o. says:

    I agree with Kristen and M_S. Meredith, I know you are Jewish, as am I. Are you really saying that you believe the stereotypes about Jews (many of which were created and propogated by Hitler) “exist for a reason.” Really? There was a similar assertion by another Strollerderby blogger recently and I really wish you guys would have a put a bit more thought in before saying that. It’s both trite (from a writing point of view) and untrue. On the topic at hand, I desperately wanted a girl the first time around (and got one) and the second time around, I’m embarassed to say that I can be heard on the audio of a late untrasound of my eldest son asking sardonically if he “still has a penis”. Cringe. The third time I really didn’t have a preference and my daughetr died a few minutes after being born. The fourth time around, I really did just want to have a healthy baby (I had a son) and there was no “lying” about it. While I totally understand the desire to have those oh-so-familiar girls, I believe that normal people adjust to the child they are going to have. There are many joys to be found in raising both boys and girls and I feel really blessed to be experiencing both.

  15. goddess says:

    What exactly is a “privileged TYPE”? Why, another stereotype, of course.

  16. Meredith Carroll says:

    @Linda — I was talking about the girl stereotypes, not all stereotypes. I do think they exist because a lot of girls like pink and lot of boys like guns, to put it simply. More thought could have gone into that comment – agreed. But I think I was pretty careful to say in the post itself that I was talking from my own experience or from what I’ve seen. I don’t bother arguing with some of the commenters at this point because no matter what I say, they will automatically say the opposite and it has just become a waste of time and I can take the criticism. I stand by the post itself as to how it speaks to my experience. I have no doubt there are joys in raising boys, but having grown up with a sister and mostly girl cousins, this is what I know and enjoy. Of course I’d love a son to bits, but I’m just being honest in saying I’m glad not to have to learn a lot of what I don’t already know about raising one from infancy.

  17. Anonymous says:

    Babble editors: The original article/research is really interesting. It is such a shame you let this particular writer post such a thoughtless response. If it were merely controversial I might not mind but when I come to Babble I expect I higher level of discourse than her sloppy responses in the comments. It would have been far more interesting to hear from a couple of different writers –both moms and dads or better yet from a parent with kids of both genders. I think what is really interesting is that there is a big gender difference in men and women preferring boys to girls and I would have loved to hear some dads go in depth on this rather than a mom spewing outdated stereotypes and then backing them up with inane comments like “stereotypes exist for a reason” and after only 17 comments to say it is “a waste of time” to engage with commenters. Disappointing.

  18. Meredith Carroll says:

    @Anonymous — I only think it’s a waste of time to engage commenters who are argumentative for the sake of arguing. I’m happy and eager to engage in thoughtful discussions, but just because you disagree with my opinions doesn’t make you right and me wrong, and I think it’s silly, frankly, to argue that someone’s feelings are just plain wrong. Feelings aren’t facts.

  19. Mistress_Scorpio says:

    She agrees “more thought could have gone into the statement,” and immediately retreats into a “but” statement. She claims she can “take the criticism” and in the same sentence declares adressing that criticism as waste of time.

    Goddess, we all exhibit privileged behavior from time to time. The difference is those who actively and consistently seek to see things and consider things from experiences other than their own. Then you don’t have narrow little blog posts that spout on about ones own perspective as though it should be universally accepted.

  20. seriously? says:

    It seems as if every time I read the comments on this site I wonder if it’s actually parents who are responding to the blogs, or their children. Some of you people are unbelievable – the over analysis of each and every sentence, the tattling, the know-it-all mentality, the overreactions and most of all — THE DRAMA! If the comments are a snapshot of how some parents act toward other parents in front of their children, no wonder our society is so screwed.

  21. Korinthia says:

    I have huge problems with gender stereotypes. I will admit I was nervous about having a son after having two girls because I didn’t know what to expect, but having a boy is wonderful. I worry when people say they hope for one sex of child over another, because it presumes so much about what a child of either sex will be. Girls do not have to like pink, boys can certainly be affectionate, and no child should be limited in their interests by sex or gender in this world. Making broad statements about either sex creates limitations that I don’t want either my daughters or my son subjected to.

    I know this list was probably made in a lighthearted way, but I think things like this contribute to a culture that takes us in the wrong direction.

  22. Maggie says:

    I haven’t read your examples yet — my internet connection is slow enough to make picture-loading excruciating. Slide shows are a disaster. If I’d known this was a slide-show post I wouldn’t have been so excited about reading parents who prefer daughters.

    If I come back to this page in ten minutes I may be able to see your first slide. But really, strollerderby, how about ditching the slide-show format in favor of something that uses a reasonable amount of bandwidth — you know, like text?

  23. Meredith Carroll says:

    @Maggie — Sorry you’re having trouble with the post/slides.

  24. K. Annie says:

    Ok…I’m going to side-step all the “how dare she”s and engage a little with the idea of gender preference. I have a daughter and couldn’t imagine it any other way (though when I was younger I always, always imagined myself as the mother of sons–thinking about it now, I worry that it was because that would–in my imagining–allow me some distance from my child’s experience growing up.) I love having a daughter–though not for many of the reasons you listed. I do though, wish things were different for girls. You say it’s hard to grow into a good man–but I think once his grown, it’s cruise control–I’m simplifying of course. But, I can’t get over feeling that this shit is hard–being a good woman and mother. I’m a successful person, ambitious, driven–and I want that for my daughter, too. But, I also know that wanting that for her means that like me, she’ll be forced to make some difficult decisions about work and family. So, while I think I could get over the weirdness of a tiny penis, I’m not sure I’ll ever feel comfortable thinking that my daughter can have everything she works for and that the path to becoming a good woman is easy find and follow– but maybe things will be different in 30 years. Maybe we’ll have invented the 36 hour day. Let’s get all our daughters working on that…

  25. Meredith Carroll says:

    @K Annie — Thanks for the thoughtful comment.

  26. bob says:

    Thanks for the reminder! I’m overdue for my 30k mile penis maintenance.

  27. MsC says:

    ‘I do think they exist because a lot of girls like pink and lot of boys like guns’
    A lot of girls ‘like’ pink because we shower girls with pink and relentlessly push the message that pink is for girls. 50-60 years ago, the color coding was the opposite: pink was the masculine power color and blue was Mary-like and virginal. For the most part I actually understand where the author is coming from, even if I think some of the list is absurd – I was the oldest girl in an all girl family. I know how to take care of girls, how great girls can be, how horrible girls can be. In short: with a girl I knew what I was getting, whereas I didn’t have much experience around young boys.

    But suffering succotash, I am so tired of hearing this whole ‘girls like pink, boys like cars’ thing as though this was part of our DNA instead of a result of relentless marketing.

  28. Meredith Carroll says:

    @MSC – Of course girls aren’t born liking pink; they’re socialized to it. You won’t get an argument from me on that one.

  29. amy says:

    Wow, after reading this, I must be a very disappointing daughter! I do not remember the last time I hugged either one of my parents but I talk to them every day. I wore shorts, jeans and boxers growing up. I own a .357 Ruger and love shooting it at a range to de-stress. I do cancer research and read true crime novels. I prefer button fly jeans to dresses and flip-flops to heels. I can go days without showering when camping on a fishing trip and regularly wear hats instead of fixing my hair. Geez, I hope my mom isn’t disappointed. I guess since I am 41, I can ask her what she thinks of the “card she got dealt.” I guess it is a good thing she has girly-girl grand-daughters so they can fill in for the huge gap she must have felt in her life by having ME!

  30. Trina says:

    As the mother of 7 boys I would love a daughter.

  31. Kristen says:

    After growing up with a sister, being a girl myself, having a niece, and having ALL (but three) girl cousins…I myself have 2 boys and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I was always Daddy’s girl. I loved sports, I loved camping, I loved bugs and I hated DRAMA! I KNOW girls bring drama EVERYWHERE where boys tell it how it is and move on. My eldest son is a HUGE mush. He ALWAYS asks me if I want to cuddle, adores playing with my hair, and loves kisses. He’s sensitive, but at the same time tough. I think it’s because I’m extremely affectionate and since birth have constantly been affectionate to him. Once I had my first son, I was DYING for a second. Boys are easy. You don’t have to blow dry hair, worry about a UTI’s (my niece gets them a lot…especially when it’s the summertime and her wet bathing suit is left on too long), no drama, and no competing for affection and things to be fair (like my sister and I used to do from my parents). I will have spent less money on clothes by the time my boys move out then if I would if I had girls. Girls, in general, are more vain about their appearances. I dress my boys in the morning, brush their teeth and off we go. Worrying about their penises, well that’s just plain ridiculous. I think they are easier to maintain then a vagina. Too many crevices in a vagina. If I have a question about their penises, well, that’s what I have their Daddy for. I love living in a house of boys!

  32. just me says:

    I already have a stepson, and my husband and I just knew that we were having a girl, we would have been a little disappointed had she been a boy, but all that really mattered to us was a healthy baby. Now I really want a little boy, but if I get a girl, I will be just as thrilled : )

  33. Ashley says:

    For someone to take this much time to think about why she perfers girls over boys,Has No life, it’s truely sad that you have this much time on your hand, and Not all girls are like you explained , I have 4 girl’s all extremly different from one another some tom boys , some girlie, I am also pregnate , it would be nice to have a gender change in the house hold but I will be blessed with whatever god decides for me. Even though I know my husband is dieing for a baby boy, the thought is nice. But were not going to get our hopes up :)

  34. Bonnie says:

    From the moment I knew I was pregnant I knew I wanted a girl. I think if I had had a boy, I would have been very very disappointed at first. Now I am not saying I would come to love a boy. I just knew in my heart that I wanted a girl more than anything. I think most people probably do have a preference, but it also depends on your situation. I am a single mom and I knew that she was going to probably be my only chance for a child for a long time. Maybe in the future if I find a man I want to be with I would consider having more children and maybe a boy. Growing up my ideal was a boy and girl and hopefully a boy first then a girl. When I got pregnant all that went out the window and to anyone who would ask I said flat out I wanted a girl. Very lucky for me my wish came true, and I have the most adorable baby girl I could have asked for. For those ragging on Meredith, leave her alone. She has the perfect right to voice her opinions and just because her opinion is different than yours doesn’t mean its wrong, no matter if her reasons are stereotypical or not.

  35. Nikki says:

    When I was pregnant with my daughter I was so happy to finally be pregnant that all I truly wanted was a healthy baby. Insinuating that all who say that are lying is a bit much. Am I happy I get to buy my little girl frilly pink things and paint her nails? Yes. But I would have been just as happy buying a little boy clothes with cars, etc. and that would never bore me.

  36. Angie says:

    I would love to have all girls. I grew up with 2 sisters, and I want my daughter to have a sister too. That said, I know if I have a boy I will love him every bit as much!

  37. Sarah says:

    What a crappy, crappy thing to say. The whole article. Starting to think Babble is a crap-shoot!

    I guess I lied and said I wanted a healthy baby. I guess I’m still a liar when I say I just want to be pregnant again with a healthy baby. I guess that is my right to just outright lie after the fact that I just had an unhealthy 7.5 week ectopic pregnancy that resulted in surgery. Not to mention down right heartbreaking. So yes I want a healthy baby.

    I don’t care if it sits to pee, wants to cuddle until they are 20, jump in puddles, love dinosaurs, and all things dirt… oh and worms. And not to mention loves to shot a gun like BOTH their parents!

    Our daughter loves to play in the dirt, she’s not a cuddlier, she loves dinosaurs, and worms and she loves to shoot a nerf gun. Go figure! She loves to get all dressed up, have tea parties, and her nails painted.

    I guess my husband and I raise well balanced children who are allowed to explore the world and fall in love with anything THEY want. Isn’t that what childhood is all about anyway? Bottom line kids are fun.

  38. Meredith Carroll says:

    @Sarah — As with the rest of the piece, the line about people lying about wanting a healthy baby was meant to be humorous, although clearly it’s not funny to some. As I mentioned in the line immediately following, it’s all about a healthy baby, with some sex preference thrown in after the fact. I’m so sorry about your ectopic pregnancy and wish you the all the best in having a healthy one.

  39. Yvonne says:

    I totally agree!!

    I have one girl an am hoping for one more!

    I understand her, we are very bonded, I love pink clothes, and definitely, girls remain much closer with their parents as adults.

    Plus – I will get to help plan a wedding!! I can’t wait for that!

  40. Brian says:

    So far as I can see, you are happy your children are girls because you are a bit of a lefty putz, and believe you are more likely to be able to raise your girls to be lefty putzes like yourself.

    Most of what you’ve posted here is fantasy or stereotype, and the rest is your feeble distaste of reality.

    Grow up.

  41. Angie says:

    Wow all i have to say is w the amount of drama i honestly question the maturity level on here. All I was originally looking for was well doesnt matter it isn’t here! This is just plain childish!

  42. Sharpeshooter says:

    As a PROUD Dad (something I was told I was never going to be a dad that is) I have to say that stereotypes exist simply because we allow them to. My son (now 20 months old) is being raised in a gender netural house, we do not believe in the dad chores and mom chores. As for dressing him up, we have found a lot of cute outfits for him, but do not treat him as if he were a doll. And as a Soldier, I am loath to think that you despise the fact that I am willing to lay down my life for your freedom to despise me. War is bad, violence is bad but they are a fact of life. So don’t despise a Soldier, instead thank them… Oh and as for the comment about girls pretending to blow things up, my partner in the EOD really resents that statement ( yes, she is a girl).

  43. Meredith Carroll says:

    @Sharpeshooter — Appreciating the armed forces and not wanting a kid to pretend to blow things up with dolls are two separate things, as far as I’m concerned.

  44. Sharpeshooter says:

    @ Meredith Carroll, the comment was that she despises Soldiers, not that she despised pretending to blow things up.

    On the birth of my Son, he was given an air-rifle that has been in my Family for 4 gnerations now, I received it from my Mother.

  45. Meredith Carroll says:

    @Sharpeshooters – I support gynecologists but I don’t want my kid pretending to be one of those, either.

  46. Sharpeshooter says:

    @ Meredith Carroll – no where did you say you supported Soldiers, just that you despised them….. And it is unfortunate that you would place a limit on your childs imagination, regardless of their sex…. Open minds breed no hatred. Just my thought.

  47. Meredith Carroll says:

    @Sharpeshooter — In slide No. 2 I also didn’t say I support penises, because this isn’t a piece about penises (or soldiers — or you, for that matter). It’s a piece about preferring daughters over sons. Feel free to take a single line out of context and feel offended and attacked, as that is your right. My bottom line still hasn’t changed, however: I don’t like violence and am glad my daughters will likely rather play princess than war. I’m not placing limits on anyone’s imagination, but I’ll be thrilled if their imaginations steer clear of death and destruction.

  48. Sharpeshooter says:

    @ Meredith Carroll – I hope that both your children and mine can grow old in a word free of death and destruction. Forgive me for taking your comment about despising Soldiers to heart. But I am use to having people that can sit in the safety of there home and begrudge those of us that serve.

    I wish you and yours peace and happiness, I willcontinue to serve to stive for that peace.

    Goddess Bless

  49. Meredith Carroll says:

    @Sharpeshooter — I have immense respect for soldiers (not to mention awe), and I wish you and everyone brave enough to serve much health and happiness.

  50. Sarah says:

    I don’t have kids yet, but I’m willing to admit that if I could only have one child, I would definately perfer to have a daughter. Although when I was a kid I played with cars and trucks (and also dolls and Barbies) and liked to get dirty in the sandbox. I also took marital arts lessons as a teen and enjoy playing war themed video games. I also love going to baseball and hockey games. So the whole thing about girls not liking to be dirty or not into toy guns isn’t always true.

  51. Lana says:

    As the mother of four grown sons, I must confirm that when boys grow up, they are less emotionally attached to their moms. This is true no matter how close the relationship is when they are growing up. They still have things in common with their dads; i.e., golf, fishing, etc. Moms of sons have to work much harder to maintain a relationship than the moms of the girls they marry. I have found ways of staying connected with them, but most women, my daughters-in-law included, still turn to their own moms first. They expect their husbands, my sons, to keep in touch, but that does not usually happen. I have learned to accept this common behavior among my grown sons because I know if I really need them, they will be by my side. Society reinforces this. Have you ever heard of a mother-son event? It is always mother-daughter, father-son or father-daughter. hmmmmmmm Oh, I could write a book on this topic. Maybe someday I will.

  52. Natalee says:

    The title of this article prompted me to read it, however I think that the problem with the article isn’t that the author has a gender preference (many of us do) but that the 7 examples provided and the article in general was just very superficial. As a mother of two delicious boys who WANTED at least one boy, I am envied by all of my friends who only have girls. I was hoping to read something new and exciting and remotely thought provoking in this article and it kinda fell flat. Nothing listed in the examples are reasons to prefer girls, in my opinion. Most of those reasons are why the fathers enjoy having boys. I don’t have to deal with the penises (which don’t bother me) cause that’s what daddy’s for. Being a bit of a tomboy myself, I enjoy their interests. I love superheros and their love of trucks. But I also have boys who want to emulate their mom too. They love to bake with me. We do lots of arts and crafts, which isn’t a gender preference either. They love for me to paint their toe nails. I also have the most affectionate boys and I doubt that this is a gender thing, just a personality thing. I am not mad at you for the stereotypes, we all have them. I am a strange bird who makes it an effort avoid gender roles for my kids. I wont let them NOT do something just because they are boys. Society is hard enough on women and I don’t plan on raising men who fall in line like sheep!

  53. Danya says:

    OMG, talk about over-reactions to a funny little article. I’m the oldest of five, with three sisters and one brother. I knew from the very beginning that I only wanted daughters and I was lucky enough to have two girls. I’m getting to play with Barbies again (not that I ever really stopped, lol), getting to buy fancy and frilly little dresses, and watch my oldest go through high school with the confidence that I always dreamed of having but never did. I wanted daughters so I would know and understand the emotional, physical, and mental stuff they would go through, and could hopefully guide them through it and watch them achieve anything and everything they could hope for. Plus, I get to enjoy all the cool girl toys. I’m not afraid to say I prefer girls to boys. I grew up playing with my brother, and I must say, Barbie could kick G.I. Joe’s butt every time since she was taller, and she did it in heels.
    Just read the article for the humorous piece it was, and stop reading into all the baggage and issues you evidently carrying from your life and childhood.

  54. Kathryn says:

    I am not a mother. (not yet) but, honestly I think both gender have there own problems. Boys do cause more trouble in ways. Boy get in fights at school. Constantly trying to eat things that shouldn’t be ate. but, with Females I believe drama follows more. Females are more likly to have low self esteem, the “why is she prettier then me?”. Girl’s are easier to spoil and will have the populartity desire more then boys. Honestly I think both are equal but, i would be proud to have both

  55. Danielle Greenlee says:

    I just want to say that I have both and am so so glad that I have both. I feel like they compliment each other and that will help them be better adults. My daughter wont have false hopes of what boys are like when she enters the dating world and my sons will be more sensitive to ‘womanly’ issues and have that knowledge about those issues.

    My youngest boy is the snuggler, my daughter is the leader and so independent and my middle boy is the hero, out to save the world-whether its person,bug or trash out of a can.

    My daughter is a perfect mixture of pretty princess and rough tomboy. She knows how to get dirty and enjoy the mud when the time comes and she can host a mean tea party after we clean up. The boys like to pretend wrestle and shoot hoops in their mini court but will go out of their way to make a baby smile. Like I said, they compliment each other’s personalities and Im lucky to have both genders.

  56. JuneBug says:

    Wow. So sad this author is obviously writing this as a way to talk herself into being happy about getting stuck with all girls. I have all boys, and I LOVE their dirt, gross-ness, stinky shoes, and sick humor. It’s AMAZING to see your loveable little boys grow into strong, respected, confident men. And to all you awful DILs out there who have nothing but negativity toward your MILs, I feel so sorry for you. I LOVE my MIL. I can only hope my boys end up with decent, loving women who will let my husband and me be a part of their lives when they are adults.

  57. Kathy says:

    As a mother of boys, I sure hope they don’t have mother-in-laws like you. Your comment that you would rather spend time raising your daughters to be “good people, friends and citizens” is insulting to me and every other parent of boys who are working to acheive the same goal. Shame on you.

  58. Veronica says:

    This article is completely biased and offensive. I suppose the author feels the same way about her own father (who once was a boy and raised her) and her husband (whom without she wouldn’t have had her daughters). As far as guns, violence, war, etc., she should be thankful that she lives in a safe country because we have the best national defense in the world, and for that we require guns, soldiers, wars, etc. If she doesn’t want a national defense, then move to Costa Rica and I’d bet she would not last a week living in that country.

  59. Mo says:

    I understand that this piece was meant to be lighthearted, and I won’t waste anyone’s time by reiterating the numerous objections that have been raised by those who are offended by the gender stereotypes in this article, however, I do feel that even jesting about the whole ‘girls like pink, and Barbie, and princesses, and boys like blue, and trucks, and violence’ thing sets gender equality back. Gender stereotypes are bad for both sexes, and treating them in this way, it just strikes me as a little bit misguided, at best. Actually, I would think that girls are actually much harder to raise than boys, because of all the conflicting messages that our culture sends to girls (and women): ‘Looks aren’t important, but you need to be thinner/prettier/younger,’ ‘You should be smart, but not too smart because that’ll intimidate the boys,’ ‘Be your own person, but don’t stray too far from what’s popular.’ It’s a veritable minefield of contradictions. I really hope you’re ready for that, because they seem to be getting to girls at a younger and younger age these days.

  60. Taylor says:

    I have a girl and she is turning out to be as much of a tomboy as I was (am, lol) so far. She’s about 2 years old. Her grandma and aunt (who are obnoxiously feminine) try pushing the whole girly princess crap on her and she just does her own thing. Which Im glad of. I could not handle a prissy girl. I was also one of the ones who wanted a boy but Im so happy I have her. She’s my little “mini me.” She is loving to a point but is still pretty independent and likes to just rough house… I hoping she stays this way. :P

  61. HS says:

    I was one of those liars that didn’t want either sex – - until I adopted a boy after I fostered a girl. Then I found out I wanted a girl, as I had loved and lost a girl. Boys are great, but not like girls. I still am trying to get a girl, but for now I am blessed.

  62. Nadia says:

    Gender preference comes from society and sociology.

    In many marriages women still do all of the cooking, cleaning, child-rearing and possibly hold a job. Society tells us that this is all women are good at doing.

    Name an example on TV of a strong woman who does not fit into that description and isn’t constantly seeking the approval of a male. Difficult to do, right?

    So of course boys are still a preferred sex and of course little girls are expected to play with dolls, wear frilly dresses, play with toy kitchens, and do arts/crafts… because society tells them that’s all they will do when they get older. Boys, however, get to be athletes, musicians, doctors, lawyers, politicians etc.

  63. Ed says:

    I am not surprised by the authors sentiments, not consider them very unusual. But they do touch on a contemporary issue that affects the future generations. We have been programmed to believe single parent can be both mom and dad, when this simply isn’t true. The author makes light of this with silly references to gender plumbing, but running with that analogy there are a lot of boys being taught to pee sitting down, figuratively, and also some literally. While many boy somehow survive the absence of a father, I have noticed that young men raised with adult male presence in the house tend to be, well, more manly. They are more apt to know how to fix plumbing, stand up for themselves, and have more “game” when it comes to the opposite sex. We have a daughter, and dread the fact the overall quality of the pool of men available in her generation lacks the qualities women like in their men. While few women want a domineering pig, fewer still want a “yes dear, what ever you say dear” guy who has little use other than a doormat; yet our society seems to be cranking them out in droves. This is only compounded if the mother is boy challenged and girl biased as the author admits.

  64. Katherine says:

    I had always wanted a boy but I got a girl. I am happy my child is healthy (really) and would love any child I had. That being said, both my husband and I are very glad we had a girl. I feel the stereotypes offered by this author are superficial and are not the reasons we prefer our calm, gentle daughter. The reason we prefer her is because when we spend time with friends who have sons they are crazy! They are full of tons of energy and have problems behaving. They play rough and talk back. Each of the parents are great parents and I have seen different parenting strategies however, the main constant is that the boys are just so wild.
    Now, I have a daughter who is, to quote a commenter, “obnoxiously feminine” and she does it all on her own. She LOVES pink and is convinced she is a princess. I allow her to be her, even if it means she likes to play tea party and princess. I am a woman who loves to wear dresses, I also love to shoot guns and enjoy comic book flicks. My favorite picture of my daughter is wearing a pink tutu and pink wings, jewelry and a crown. She is holding a toy broadsword twice her height and she had a dagger tucked into her skirt. Beautiful and deadly fierce, i love that she can be both!
    So I prefer girls over boys not because of a penis or clothes but because there ARE biological differences between genders and girls are generally calmer and better behaved, as they often mature at a faster rate than boys.

  65. Annie says:

    Having two sisters and a brother myself (as well as being a girl), I know pretty well what it’s like to raise/live them, and mostly I disagree with your post. Not because of the stereotypes, however, but because of experience.
    Most of the problems you highlighted in the post can be rectified easily. Hygiene can be taught to children when they’re young. My older brother is very, very clean. He can’t stand to be dirty. My older sister, while she isn’t dirty, has some habits (like picking food off of others’ plates) that aren’t very nice, regardless of gender. As for the pink and princesses, not every girl is going to want to BE a pretty princess- I wanted to be a Pokemon trainer. That is okay! Kids aren’t going to conform exactly to want their parents want. They’re different people. Besides, I don’t see what’s so wrong with guns and explosions. I like chick flicks, but I’d much rather watch Braveheart or Ironclad or The Eagle, complete with blood and decapitation and disembowelling fun :)
    As for the penis/growing up into a man issue: that’s what a daddy is for. If daddy is out of the picture, then how about an uncle or a cousin or a family friend etc?
    In short, how could anybody have a preference? When I have a baby, I don’t care which gender he/she is; I know I’ll be happy. Each gender has pluses and minuses, and while stereotypes CAN be true, don’t base your preferences on them. Base your preferences on experience. It sounds to me that the author of this post hasn’t ever been around boys very much. Cute article, but biased.

  66. john says:

    sounds like she just likes being clingy and wants her children to do the same, gender aside.

  67. Jamie says:

    Wow!! Did you ever stop to think that maybe you feel that way is because you only have girls? I have one girl and two boys and my boys tell me every day how much they love me! They are just as precious! I think you missed out

  68. futplex says:

    “I don’t like violence and am glad my daughters will likely rather play princess than war” … In the real world, women in a work environment are much more mean to each other than men in a work environment would ever be.

  69. scott says:

    i come from a family of 5 boys and 3 girls i a male im the one that took care of my mom and father as they aged my sisters teated like dirt never called never visited maybe once every six months! we the boys in my family were closer to mother and father than my sisters i visited my mom in the home last years of her lifewhen she was in a nursing home more than any of my sisters my sisters had more important things to do hang out freinds go shopping they only visited her on her birthday

  70. Kevin says:

    My wife posted me this article today. Her intention is to show me that having girls is better althought this article is just based on personal perference and experience. We have two boys, and she always wants girls. Having a boy and a girl would be good, but I can tell you I enjoy every moment with my boys.

  71. yolanda soliz says:

    June 26th was the blogs date; funny because thats the date of my son birthday after his three sisters were born! Darn right raising a son is hard work and girls are so much easier but try convincing yourself of that before you have one!

  72. malefiscen says:

    I am the mother of a 12 yo boy and I could not in a million years imagine raising a girl. The hormones and the prissiness and the drama-omg shoot me now! That said, it’s really about how you raise your child. I was a tomboy growing up so dolls and pink and frilly pretty things didn’t appeal to me (still don’t). My son is very masculine but he doesn’t treat shower as a curse word nor does he run around pretending to blow things up. He’s pretty even tempered and would rather play video games or draw or make music or swim than play in and track mud and dirt everywhere. I think the women who don’t want to raise boys somehow interpret that they will lose their femininity because they play in the dirt with their boys or have to buy action figures instead of baby dolls. Joking aside, I’m sure I would be fine raising a daughter because she would be my child. There just wouldn’t be any pink iin our house;)

  73. Amy says:

    penis maintenance? Um, I have two sons, the oldest is 20, and I’ve never had to do any “maintenance” in that area! That cracked me up. I love love love my boys, but would have been just as happy w/ girls. All children are a blessing.

  74. Marissa says:

    I have a son and two daughters. With my first pregnancy I wanted a son, and got one. With my second I wanted a girl, and got one, and with my third I wanted a girl and got one. It wasn’t a matter of the different ways the genders act or anything like that. It was about the order I wanted them. I wanted my future daughter to have a big brother. Then when it came time to have a third, I thought the girl being in the middle would be weird, so I wanted a girl.

  75. tuerkei ferien says:

    Rapidly Partly,burn presence training alternative sufficient church marriage collect speak initiative only home else theory leading representative determine cat step working question laugh works especially size forest apply progress car design slightly shot frequently corner beginning ticket factory accept actual capable also decade distinction hurt kill work pain extra ready congress rapidly obtain investigation feeling this end victim address history no battle choose finally public winner straight voice real afraid teach live stick prefer piece entirely very series base name colour plan decision individual when gate ago treaty assume satisfy sense responsibility sign principle old time

  76. Maggie says:

    Have you ever heard of the term “momma’s boy”? Little boys love their mothers. Mom is on a pedestal, no woman will ever take her place. I know that what I am saying is a stereotype and that not all boys are momma’s boys and not all girls are “daddy’s little girls” but I have found this to be true enough to know that what you are saying about little boys being emotionally void is so untrue.

  77. Amanda says:

    The writer doesn’t deserve a boy. I used to think if I had a choice it would be a girl, but having two boys has been amazing. They are sweet, loving and caring. They love dirt, but you know what, they have taught me to lighten up and have fun playing in the dirt! They have opened my eyes to cars and trains and tractors. I wouldn’t trade this for the world. The stereotypes about boys make me sad bc how do we expect them to ever be different if we pre-decide how they are going to be? My oldest loves Dora and pink and tells me I’m pretty and that he loves me…. Then he goes and pretends to be a transformer. You are missing out on something awesome and should be ashamed of yourself for putting boys in such a definite category. I get that you have a preference, lots of people do an thats fine…. But don’t knock it until you try it bc you just might find yourself head over heels if you ever have a sweet little boy.

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