Stroller Haters Can Suck It. Kids Are People Too.
It seemed like the stroller-hating articles started right after my first baby was born, or maybe I just started noticing them then. Now, in the apparent twilight of my stroller years, I view the diatribes from a slightly different angle. No longer wholly dependent on the stroller to get from point A to B, I still use it for expedience, for my kid’s comfort, and for my own schlepping convenience. Yes, I use my stroller as a sometime shopping cart. If you had a kid in New York City, you probably would, too. And if you don’t have a kid in New York City, you probably think I’m a jerk.
The stroller has become a symbol of the things people without kids hate about people with them: They take up too much space, they expect others to conform to their needs—literally, to get out of their way, they “coddle” children, parading them around town like Pashas with nary a thought to the way their rolling thrones interfere with others.
But who’s being self-centered here?
In an Op-Ed in yesterday’s New York Times, Tom Scocca waxes poetic from the stroller side of the great divide, and recalls life before: “..when I was childless, I had to dodge the grim-faced parents rampaging down the sidewalks with their double-wide, all-terrain strollers. Where did their rageful sense of entitlement come from? They devoured every inch of space under scaffolds, obstructed store aisles — and did it righteously, as if the world owed them an unimpeded runway for their child-furniture. “
It’s not hard to see where the stroller hate comes from. Cities are dependent on efficiency. A stroller on the sidewalk can slow down foot traffic by a mile an hour, raising the heart rates of the obstructed in inverse proportion. There’s even a name for this now: Sidewalk Rage. But what is hard for me to see is why people don’t consider the needs of infants and children, which includes their transportation from place to place, as part of the workings of an urban environment. Parents, just by virtue of having children and moving through the world with them, are taking more than their fair share. Children are seen as part of the parents’s baggage, not as members of society who don’t happen to be able to operate at peak efficiency.
As Scocca puts it: “There’s a fallacy among childless people that there are simple ways for parents to make their children less annoying, and the parents just choose not to do them.”
Children are, by definition, inefficient. But they have as much right to street space as I do when I’m trying to squeeze in a workout by walking fast to the grocery store or running to a meeting and aggravated by the double-wide Macclaren in my path. It’s reasonable to expect a little consideration: pulling over instead of stopping mid-traffic flow, breaking up a phalanx of strollers so wide it doesn’t even leave a passing lane. But beyond that, hating on strollers is, in my eyes, not all that different than hating on wheelchairs. Strollers are assistive technology for people who can’t move at the pace of adult life. Kids can’t get around as fast as you. But they still have to get around. Deal with it. And while you’re at it, stop complaining about kids being “too old” for a stroller, a complaint, by the way, you rarely hear from a parent (unless that parent has a particular interest in youth emancipation, or has never raised children in a city). I was guilty of this myself before I had kids. Before you’ve been there, it just looks…wrong. But when you’re dealing with the competing pressures of a miserable, exhausted kid and a time crunch, you honestly don’t give a rat’s ass what anything looks like. You’ve just gotta get there.
Parents use strollers for their children not just because it’s easier for them, though it usually is. (When our plane landed late last night, I was kicking myself for traveling stroller free…boy would it have been nice to put that sleeping kid somewhere instead of hauling a 35 lb sack of potatoes along with my carry-on.) They also use strollers because it’s easier for YOU. If you think navigating around a stroller is annoying, imagine a sidewalk clogged with kids on foot, wandering, whining, tantruming, racing and chasing. With that reality in mind, using a stroller could be seen as the more considerate choice. But I’m not so sure it matters. I don’t actually think stroller hating is about strollers at all. I think it might just be a socially acceptable way for people to vent about what they really hate: children.
photo: Erin! Neverkis/ flickr
I experienced this in NYC, too, but when we lived in Paris, people not only got out of our way, they helped me carry it up the subway stairs and would smile and greet my daughter every time. It wasn’t just me, either–I saw this regularly for everyone with children in strollers. No one would bat an eye–”c’est normale.” I got good at grabbing the front of the stroller to help a parent up or down a staircase without even breaking my stride before we had kids, just like everyone else.
New Yorkers need to learn from the Parisians.
Nah- it’s really not children that many CFBC hate. I know quite a few- they are just annoyed and fed up with the sense of entitlement many parents have and the resulting bad behavior that they think everyone should have to tolerate since they do.
In essence, it’s the parents that they dislike :=)
@Goddess. I agree that parents’ behavior is often the target of CF anger (and that it’s not always unwarranted). But I think in NYC there’s another issue with children themselves. It’s like New York is supposed to be some kind of Adult Playground and all these kids are sullying the urbane fantasy with their messy kid ways.
The problem isn’t parents, or childless/childfree people, but jerks. They are the real problem. Jerks can be parents or not, married or single, yuppies, hippies, Baby Boomers, Gen X-ers, Gen Y-ers, Gen-Whatevers, little old ladies and gentlemen, teachers, doctors, lawyers, CEOs, presidents, kings, or paupers. That’s the problem with jerks – they can occupy any and all positions, and they make people assume that anyone in that position is a jerk. But I have found that usually the good and generous people outnumber the jerks, thank goodness.
Babies shouldn’t be in strollers anyways. They should be carried next to a warm human body, preferably mommy or daddy. Slings, snuglis, backpacks, maitais, bjorns – they make travel easier and more convenient for everyone, and they are good for baby’s emotional and physical development. Carrying your baby also helps take off the extra weight. Yes, it can be hard. So? Lots of things are hard. It’s not fair to take up the entire sidewalk because you don’t want to build up the necessary muscles to carry your child. And when you start from birth, your body and muscles adapt WITH the growing baby. Strollers are totally unnecessary.
Andrea – As someone who is less than 120 lbs. with some knee and hip problems, I think I’ll pass on hanging my 20 lbs. 8 month old son on my body some where ever time I leave the house. : P But you go right ahead and be supermom and be self-righteous about it!
LOVE your comment, Kirikiri. Did you plan to have Andrea prove your point?
i get the whole groovy granola thing… i wear my baby when i can and when the time is right but a blanket statement that babies shouldn’t be in strollers… let’s get real. i carry at the very least a diaper bag and a small purse… where the heck am i going to put that when i have jr #2 strapped to me? or heaven forbid i have a lunch packed… should i force jr #1 to carry that? and from experience, being able to put jr #2 down when jr #1 falls on the playground (and it happens often) and give him a little one on one tender care… well it goes far for his psyche. shut the hell up with your self righteous crap and move the hell over. peace and love.
I don’t care for strollers because they are so cumbersome. I normally had my babies in a ring sling and once they could walk, they walked. There are certain situations where a stroller seemed like a good idea (Disneyland & travel come to mind) so we borrowed one for those times. I do get annoyed by those parents who have this tiny, tiny baby in an absolutely enormous stroller when all they are doing is going from the car to an older childs activity. Really? You need 70lbs of gear for a 10 pound baby? It seems like sometimes the entire point of the stroller is so the parents don’t have to touch the baby at all. They even eat in there with their bottles propped up with a recieving blanket. I find it genuinely sad. I’m sure I’ll ge slammed for saying so, but whatever.
I’m about 7 months pregnant (not quite) and I just took my first practice walk towards the park this afternoon. I kinda thought my first walks with the baby I’d use a carrier… at least until the baby got too heavy. My gigantor pregnant belly very quickly made me reconsider… unless carriers are way better designed than pregnancy (possible…) I’ll be talking the stroller to save my back.
Also… Andrea… are you real?
Maybe the guilt was too much for him, you know, as head of “exotic derivatives”………..
Wow, Megan, I carried my children. I must not be real. How frickin’ sad is that? Human contact with an infant is so alien it seems unreal. Babies do not belong in plastic buckets of any kind. I have three children, and we had NO swing, NO saucer, NO highchair, NO stroller, NO crib, NO playpen and the baby was only in the car seat when we were actually travelling in the car, which I also try to avoid as much as possible. We walk and bike and take the bus as much as we can. And we try not to inconvenience everyone else while we’re at it.
No Andrea, it’s not carrying a baby that sounds unreal, it’s the absolute nature of your comments, not only on this post. Whatever makes you happy I suppose.
Before I had children of my own, I was disgusted by the subservient aura of a baby in a huge stroller or of an older child, knees up to his chest. I thought the parents with the baby were victims of the consumer culture of parenting and spoiled rotten by the gigantic aisles, doors, and parking lots typical of American stores. I thought the parents of the older child were too lazy or unmotivated to deal with the necessity for their child to walk on his own, convenient or not. And the thing is, before you have kids, you look at the parents around, and your friends who have kids, and it’s just so hard to imagine that all these concessions are necessary. After a while it seems so desperate and weak and surrendered. Once I had my own children, I learned that every parent has to make their own choices about what must go and what has to remain from their formerly childless selves. I just always try to remember what I thought and felt before I had kids, and keep it in mind when I’m in a people-dense area. But I have some advantages to allow that, I’m not working so it’s no big deal if I have to do in two days what a working mom has to do in half a day or I can pay for a cab if I need to when I’m in NYC. I think it’s just a bad climate in terms of self-righteousness and judgment. Parents are sick of defending themselves against each other and the judgments of the CF.
Andrea, I think it’s awesome that you did all of those things. You obviously place a high premium on attaining your ideals for parenting, and that’s great. But you could try to realize that lots of other moms either don’t share those ideals, or aren’t able to achieve them, either because of their situational circumstances or personal circumstances. Moms who use strollers are not doing so to avoid physical contact with their baby or because they are just lazy. You could have a little faith that people who are different than you have some sensible reasons for it, and in fact are optimizing for a different set of values than you, they’re not just lazy whiners.
Funny that there’s absolutely zero facts or research backing up these claims about strollers being harmful and traumatic to babies. Many babies seem to greatly enjoy stroller rides but I guess all those coos and giggling could be a sign that they’re being permanently scarred. There’s nothing wrong with opting out of a stroller if you prefer soft carriers but that’s not realistic or desirable for everyone which is also fine. I do believe there are some valid safety concerns regarding biking with infants however, especially if you are holding said infant in a soft carrier while doing so. . .
although andrea’s comments were self-righteous (as usual), i will say that i love baby carriers too. i come from a hearty stock, though, and have no problem carrying my 23-lb baby. i did the same with my son, and enjoyed both the exercise and his sweet baby snuggles. traveling is relatively easy and i don’t have to worry about finding a ramp or elevator that will fit a stroller. the comments i get, however, are as ridiculous and critical as this stroller controversy. i do own a stroller so my mom can travel with my not-yet-walking daughter, and have no internal debates about using it. these controversies arise when (as above commenters have said) other people are jerks and/or when other parents are insecure about their own parenting decisions.
When my toddler was a baby I was a big fan of baby wearing. And now that he’s a toddler he walks pretty much everywhere. But, like someone said above, that doesn’t help with all the STUFF. I loved having a stroller to carry all the stuff around… extra diapers and wipes and wet bags and extra clothes… now that he’s learning to use the potty we have extra clothes (just in case) and band aids and wipes and a snack… it’s just so much! I would often take the stroller but end up wearing him anyway. But I still loved having my stroller… it doesn’t have to be all or nothing @Andrea!
Well, I think it is not so much stroller hate, as it is as it is oblivious self-evolved mothers that I hate.
I have been run into with mothers pushing their darlings, while talking on cellphones, Yapping with their friends, pushing while looking anywhere but were they are pushing the dang thing. I was run over after having foot surgery. I was SO not happy and the women was a jerk. I think these kinds of things help form nasty opinions of strollers.
I am the mother of multiples, and I pushed a double stroller careful to not hit people or , I watched were I was going, didn’t use it in certain malls, detached my kids when I had company so we could use single slingback strollers.
One note: Do not park your stroller right in front of a doorway, in the isle of a restaurant, in the middle of the floors of bathrooms, store isles. OTHERS might want to use that space too.
I’m starting to believe that there is actually a conglomeration of trolls out there who all post under the name “Andrea.” Otherwise, it’s just odd that one person would spend so much time trying to make other people feel bad about so many things.
I am amazed at how much time and energy people are willing to invest to get angry at simple stuff as a stroller. Honestly, when I had not kids, the last thing I noticed was strollers or any other baby stuff.
Wow, lots of people in this world are very unhappy.
Rosana, I really like your style!
@Rebecca- you know- I’ll defer to you on this- I don’t have expereince with NY life and you probably have a good point~
Guys – while it’s easy to get riled by the things Andrea says, it’s pretty well established that she (he? it?) is a troll, making things up to piss people off. I’ve seen two entirely different points of view expressed in the same Strollerderby post under the same name. Don’t waste your time.
Wow, Andrea. Sanctimonious, much? Some babies don’t like to be worn. Despite trying my Moby, Ergo, organic ring sling, Bjorn, and Beco Butterfly, my baby acts like I’m torturing her if I wear her for longer than ten minutes. She’s nosy and explorative. My first was calm and loved to be worn. There ARE legitimate reasons for parents using strollers, it’s not that we’re all fat, lazy, entitled morons who are clueless about infant attachment. You’d do well to be a little (and by that I mean “a lot”) less judgemental.
I use a stroller (PROUDLY!) and wear my babe when possible. I really don’t know that I’ve ever noticed or been bothered by other parents modes of child transport.
It always amazes me when I run into people who are so intolerant of parents/children. It doesn’t happen often to me… I have always tried to be very considerate of others when out with my daughters. But, sometimes, simply having children (no matter how well-behaved you and your children are), is enough to get people pissed off at you…
That said, it surprises me even more when parents are intolerant of other parents. Is it just me, or is parenting hard?? How can you not be understanding of other parents??
You see, whether you have kids or not, the problem with being self-righteous, is you’re only thinking about yourself… your own ideas, your own situation, etc.
Baby-wearing can be nice… when you have one baby :-p Am I a bad mother because I didn’t wear my twins out everywhere I went? They actually do make twin baby carriers, but have you seen that thing?? :-p
And, even if you do only have one baby, sometimes people have other children… they live in vastly different situations, they have vastly different lifestyles, responsibilities, and so on and so on.
Plus, personally, I think closeness with your baby(ies) is great… but everyone needs their space every once in awhile (even babies) :-p
Everybody’s different… that’s why everybody’s parenting philosophies and practices are different. One of the first big parenting lessons I learned after having my twin girls was to tune out everybody else’s ideas of what I should and shouldn’t be doing and to just do what works for me and my girls… period.
My girls spent a lot of time in their double stroller… I took them everywhere in it. We did our snuggling at home
And, now that they’re almost 6 years old, they are two perfectly happy, healthy little girls… who, btw, wouldn’t dream of making someone else feel bad, just to make themselves feel better.
I use my stroller everywhere, church, at the grocery store because I am in walking distance, and of coure at the restaurant. If peple don’t move then that’s their fault, I recently almost ran over someone’s foot in the crosswalk because she was busy talking to her friends and not paying attention.
As far as I have seen, I’m the only Andrea here. Where have I contradicted myself in the same post? Can you show me? I’d be interested to see your interpretation of “contradiction”.
I don’t believe in being a “good enough” mother. This is my full time job and I take it very seriously and I do the best I can, which is pretty damn good. And if stroller-haters can “suck it” as this post claims, then jealous hags can suck it, too.
I live in Chicago so, our sidewalks are far less crowded and tourists slow things down more than anything. I’ve got a 33lb 2 year old. I do not own a car and use our BOB for grocery shopping and walks to the park. However, when traveling on busy sidewalks, bus, subway, etc we use the Maclaren so I can fold it up and carry it if needed. I don’t have sidewalk rage but public transportation rage. I HATE when people get on a busy bus with a full size stroller and fold up the handicap seats! Worse yet – when there are no seats available they block the aisle. Other passengers have a hard time navigating around the stroller and take much longer getting on and off. This slows the bus down. Just the other day I saw a mother (who had another adult with her) get on a very busy downtown bus with a full size stroller with the car seat attached. Take the car seat off; fold your stroller and carry the car seat! And get a snap & go for godsake – you live in the city. When my son outgrew the infant seat I took him out of the Maclaren and into a front carrier while getting on & off the bus. I also have found the scooter works well now that he is older. He can keep up and it is so lightweight we can throw it under the table at a restaurant; in a shopping cart, on the bus, etc.
I never believe in imposing my ideas on others. Strollers are useful and so are baby carriers and there are good and bad times for both. I don’t believe in swaddling your kid all the time but it does need to happen! I do see a lot of parents who seem like they could care less about their kid and it saddens me.. but I also see a ton of people baby-ing their child way too much and that’s just as sad. A child who is so attached to his parents they can’t function when they begin school or get picked on by their friends for being a mama’s boy or whatever is equally tough on a kid. We need to find a balance. Let them be their own person and love them. Let them grow.. and use any means (strollers, carriers, swings, etc.) to make it happen as smoothly and successfully as possible! It’s not the strollers ppl hate… its kids… maybe they chose not to have them but others do. Maybe we hate your constant cab-use, suit, or loud talking on your cell phone that’s waking my sleeping baby up… everyone can find something to hate about everyone else… they’re called differences… so deal.
Ah see that is where we differ. I will absolutely be thrilled to be a “good enough” mom. I have no desire for perfection.
@Andrea: As a new Mommy, I really find your comments to be, well, bitchy! Everyone is entitled to raise their child in the way they see fit, without a “holier-than-thou” person telling them that they are lazy, or bad parents. You raised your children the way you saw fit, now let others do the same! My son is almost 2 months old, and he gets held by his Mommy and Daddy often. However, he also spends a lot of time in his car seat, and I feel no guilt whatsoever. He is a happy, well-loved little boy, and whether or not we use a stroller is not going to change that!
I think a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt sums it up nicely: NO ONE can make you feel inferior without your permission!
Oh haha and if ANYONE finds out how to be the PERFECT parent then you’re in for a load of work! Cause people everywhere, especially expectant parents, will be waiting for your “handbook”… that will now be given out with every newborn before leaving the hospital with their new baby! LOL! We do the best we can and look at all of us sitting here online instead of mothering lol… (although mine are currently at school lol)
~P~
With one in 150 kids with autism these days (more actually) people can’t assume the child “too old for the stroller” does not have a hidden disability. One thing my kid with autism has taught me, don’t judge anybody for anything. We never know the full story.
I also like my stroller because it has a drink holder for my vodka tonic.
There is a vast gulf between Good Enough and Perfect. No one is capable of perfection. But you can get close, and I consider it a moral obligation to at least TRY. It’s the very least you owe your children.
There are SOME differences in parenting that are merely differences, and there are some that are absolutely unequivocally wrong and I am not going to say they are right to assuage any “good enough” mother’s feelings. Hitting your child? WRONG. Refusing human contact? WRONG? Bottlefeeding in the absence of a medical emergency (you are physically unable and your baby is starving)? WRONG. Leaving your baby to cry because you are too lazy to parent at night? WRONG.
Babies are small human beings. Not accessories. Not inconveniences. Not lumps of unfeeling flesh to be jammed in a plastic bucket because mama doesn’t want to carry her. We were not evolved to sit in plastic or to be left at daycare or to be fed chemicals from a plastic bottle.
Feel guilty? That’s your conscience. Listen to it!
Now to bash bottle feeding? Gods…
@Rachel I wish this blog had “like” buttons.
Whoops! Sounds like someone needs a refresher course. http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/114390/lesson_eight_im_judging_you
KIKIRIKI that is one of the more awesome things I’ve read. I now want to name my kid Terry just so I can, at some point, quote that last bit verbatim.
Wow… just wow… i didn’t know that this was so controversial a subject…. most mothers, i don’t say all, as of course, there are some, unfortunately, who don’t care about their kids, but for those of us that do, the MOST of us, we do our best. It will most likely not be the same as another mother, but its our best. There is no absolute right way to do things… make sure your kids are fed, clothed, and that they know without a shadow of a doubt that they are loved. The means with which you do these things, I really can’t be bothered to care. Much love mumma’s!
ROFLMAO at Andrea. That’s hysterics sweetie, not guilt.
Didn’t ]you forget about foreskins Andrea? Vaccinations? Homeschooling? Let’s throw the whole shebang out there, LOL!
I loved my double stroller when the twins were little. We didn’t have a car, so the stroller was a great way to get around town. My twins were always big babies, and I don’t think we would have done half the things we did each day if I had to carry them both around. Like twinhappyjen, I cuddled them plenty at home.
I don’t thing anyone is suggesting that one person would be able to carry twins around.
Andrea, yes, what about twins…or triplets or more? What is your suggestion for “carrying” babies, then? I have nothing against carrying your babies, but feel there is also a nice big place for strollers in this world of Mothering.
http://www.ababy.com/itempage.asp?CategoryID=653&mirid=0&itemno=13812
Of course you can sling twins! Triplets is going to be a but trickier, but then everything is a bit trickier with triplets. That is why they are so unusual. Humans were not meant to have more than one baby at a time.
SD and the conversations have become even too ridiculous for me and I am a pretty ridiculous person!
Yes, it’s possible to wear two babies, but that’s really only comfortable (at least for me) when they’re pretty small. And, yeah, this conversation is ridiculous.
I am a mother of twins and I wore them to avoid the whole “WIDE LOAD” comments as I went into a store! I loved my TwinTrexx twin baby carrier!!
This is the link to the TwinTrexx… it really is a good buy!
http://www.stuff4multiples.com/TwinTrexx-Twin-Baby-Carrier_p_22.html
“Babies are small human beings. Not accessories. Not inconveniences. Not lumps of unfeeling flesh to be jammed in a plastic bucket because mama doesn’t want to carry her.” etc. Yes, babies are humans. And adults are too. And while all of us moms love our babies, we need to have space and freedom to be adults too. Letting a baby cry = too lazy to parent? Really? As a working mom I needed to let my baby learn to soothe himself to sleep (controlled crying?) so I could get a good night’s sleep so I could be a good parent. No way can we be good parents if we cater to every single whim of our children. I’m not talking abandonment or neglect, just simply LETTING THEM BE once in a while. And strollers can be a great place to let them be and experience the world at a safe distance from mom!
Stroller hatred is part of an undercurrent of lack of respect for mothers and young people in general. (Just take a look at the poor way working mothers are regarded, let alone breastfeeding working mothers.) Children are loud and messy and often annoying but every adult was once that way which the kid-haters seem to forget. Even the easiest going children can get in someone’s way. Until we learn how to grow fully formed adults in test tubes, this is going to be an issue.
Hey, everyone! I have a great idea!
Let’s waste our lives reading about people who are so incompatible with everyday life that they hyperventilate about humans using strollers!
Because! Of course, strollers are the biggest inconvenience we will ever encounter! Right? Better than worrying about something actually useful, right?! Who’s with me???
amen @ stoich! hahahahaha
I prefer to wear my babe in a carrier while pushing an empty double-stroller. I find I can piss off the maximum number of people this way.
Save your back, Save your neck, use the stroller. My kids are big and I can say that the excessive baby carrying takes it toll; you just won’t know it until years later and you are needing epidural shots in your neck.
Wow. What a blog. I just read all the posts and had to just say that if people want to use a stroller for their child then that is their decision. I have never heard of a chlid being harmed(mentally) from exposure to a stroller. I personally didn’t use one a lot because I live in the suburbs and I actually had a hard time manipulating it around stores. After just a couple of times I stopped going out with my daughter and went out alone, when my husband could watch her. The stroller was more of a hassle for me than I wanted. I used to ask myself how mothers could stand hauling that around the mall all day. I guess I never thought about this issue until today. I did like the umbrella stroller though, If your child gets tired of walking it’s a great alternative.I don’ think it’s realistic to carry your kids every time you go out. I personally don’t like the slings either. I find strapping your child up to you so you can be hands free a bit disturbing/odd. So my comment is to each his/her own. As long as moms with strollers respect other people and others respect them, there should be no problems.
LOL Thanks @Jenny
Wow, I never knew there could be so much controversy about something so simple and practical. When my daughter was a baby, we lived in a big city (Barcelona), and I have never been brave enough to drive in Spain, so the only way to go anywhere was with the stroller. I had a wonderful Baby Bjorn for the short trips to the pharmacy or the corner store, but to wander out to a friend’s house or to the park I really needed a stroller – you just can’t take a backpack full of diapers, change of clothes, toys, etc out for a walk without feeling like you’re climbing Everest. The only person who ever criticized my stroller was my sister-in-law, who conveniently had a car to take her own kids around in! And I found Spanish people were really helpful too and always offered me a hand to carry the stroller up or down stairs in the metro. I have never taken the stroller on the bus, though, I never thought it would be worth the hassle.
Anyone who thinks it’s ‘wrong’ to use a stroller is just looking for reasons to feel superior to other mothers. Sad, really.
Andrea, you are ridiculous…and offensive. Period.
Loved my carrier for grocery shopping (Moby) and other times when I didn’t have to carry other things or push anything really heavy, at least until my son was walking. I really preferred it. But when we went to the zoo, or the mall, or a place I’d be walking a long way and would need a place for my daughter to sit too, I just put my son in the stroller. Even as a tiny infant. If we stopped anywhere I’d usually take him out right away and hold him. It was just more convenient that way. Somehow, though I often wore him, I felt the need to apologize for the fact that I used a stroller at all when he was so young….
Yeah, I have twins who just turned 4 and a 2 year old. I have to bring a stroller when we go on an outing to the zoo, for instance. We have a double and the older kids usually walk or take turns riding and helping push the stroller. Sometimes we use the triple (gasp!) which is a double jogging stroller with a jump seat. The stroller haters are ridiculous.
You guys! I just moved to Paris and as a result have become a stroller activist. I used to feel guilty for trying to take my stroller on public transportations and as a result would end up staying close to home or feel isolated. In Paris its SO different.
For buses they have a whole section just for strollers. The bus is low to the curb so you just wheel it on (no need for lifting.) And your stroller stays open and your child stays napping and or strapped in/ in the open stroller.
We are completely getting ripped off. I’m serious when I say there needs to be some grassroots movement to change attitudes etc. A mom needs all the help she can get. We should be supportive not critical.
I never knew there were such a thing as “stroller haters.” This is probably because I live in a small Midwest city. Honestly, the first one I have ever met was this uber-judgmental mother, Andrea. Good grief! This discussion on here was ridiculous. Seriously, Andrea, it’s nice that you have all of these high goals and that you met them. But, honestly, I do not feel like I have failed on reaching your goals because I never even tried. I’m a stay-at-home mom with a daughter who knows she is loved because I play with her and hug/kiss her all the time. We snuggle and read books and play with her toy kitchen and all kinds of fun things. But, I use a stroller, I bottle-fed (mainly because I couldn’t breast feed), and I use disposable diapers (I didn’t hear your stance on this, but I’m guessing your against them). I’m sure your kids know that you love them, but maybe you would have more friends (at least on this site) if you weren’t so judgmental on other people’s parenting skills. To each his own, as they say.
Wow! I only wanted to comment on how I had never heard of stroller haters before and reading this discussion brought that on.
Oh, I forgot to mention. I had a Moby and two other carriers and my daughter freaked out every time I tried to use them. I think using a stroller was more humane when it came to her…just saying.
wow, I love reading all these post when my kids are finally asleep for the night. So interesting. I too was a baby wearer and like one of the previous posts I used to carry my baby and push the stroller around to double piss people off and then I had somewhere to put all the “stuff”.
There is always someone who is going to criticize your parenting choices no matter what they are. I was always criticized for carrying my babies, everyone told me that I was spoiling them to much! I didn’t think so neither do I think that strollers are bad! that is just ridiculous.
As far as Andrea goes, I just feel bad for her. I am sure that you (Andrea) are a fantastic mother. I am also just as sure that you have bad days and moments like the rest of us, where you second guess every decision that you make. It’s just sad that you don’t have the confidence to talk and admit to it. I am lucky to have a close group of mom friends that I can confide in about my mistakes, guilt and worries. I wish that for you.
I had children 2 years apart so to save me buying a double stroller as well as to cater for the times when my 2 year old got too tired to walk I generally pushed my 2 year old in the umbrella stroller and wore my baby. Until today I thought this was not only a good financial decision, convenient for me when I wanted to catch the bus 3 days a week to work and allowed me to have some kind of pushing device with me incase the 2 yr old got tired or the baby got heavy, I also thought it was the most considerate choice for the rest of the population, little did I know that infact there were people who actually devote this much time an d energy to getting angry with strollers/kids/parents…you learn something new everyday