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The Sunny Oglesby Affair: Dating After a Split Can Be Good for Your Child

sunny oglesby

Dating after a split can be a good thing for your child.

According to Bonnie Fuller’s gossip website Hollywood Life, Bristol Palin is thrilled that her ex, Levi Johnston, is dating daycare provider Sunny Oglesby.  Bristol is quoted as saying, “I have to be happy for Levi’s new relationship because it sounds like his new girlfriend is influencing him to want to actually spend time with Tripp.”  Johnston has allegedly not asked to see his son in five months.

Fuller is billing this news as a “HollyShocker!,” and I suppose some people might be surprised to hear that a woman with a child could be happy that her ex is dating someone steadily.  I relate to Palin’s elation, though.  I can’t say that I was initially thrilled when I found out my ex was seeing someone and it was “getting serious,” especially since my daughter was the one who tipped me off – over the phone while she was visiting her Dad.  I shouldn’t have been surprised that my ex had introduced our then 4-year-old to his new “friend” without even mentioning the relationship to me, let alone asking if I thought it was appropriate for them to meet, but I was.  I was shocked and dismayed, in fact, especially because his new flame is only 16 years older than my daughter.

Eventually, though, my grief over his total disregard for my feelings and lack of propriety subsided, and I realized that having a young girl present while my daughter visits her Dad would be beneficial for everyone involved.

My ex’s girlfriend looks a lot like I did when I was her age (half a century ago – though as my daughter so hilariously told me when they first started dating, “She has short hair like you, but you have bigger boobs.”).  My daughter has told me that having a young woman around who evokes me is comforting for her, and my daughter thinks this girl is very sweet.  They’ve read books together, they watch movies and play games.  It took some convincing, but I told my ex that since his new lady was spending a considerable amount of time with my child, we should all have lunch together.  We did, and while I’m sure his girlfriend was overwhelmed a bit by the experience, I found her to be a perfectly lovely person that I know I can trust with my child.

And yet, when it comes to my own dating life, my daughter has made her position clear.  I can never, ever have a boyfriend ever again.  Here are two exchanges my daughter and I had about my love life (or lack thereof) just after her 5th birthday in October:

Me: I need to go on a date.

5YO: No, you don’t.

Me: Yes, I do.

5YO: Look, you’ve got a big house, my grandma did your laundry, what else could you have?

Fair enough.  The second conversation:

Me: I want to go on a date tonight.

5YO: You can’t.

Me: Why not?

5YO: You can’t.

Me: Why not?

5YO: You can’t. Because I’m with you and you have to take me to school tomorrow!

Me: So, what you’re saying is, your Dad can have a girlfriend but I can’t have a boyfriend?

5YO: YEP!

Such is life, I suppose.  I’m hoping that at some point my daughter will acquiesce and allow me to re-marry someday, just as John’s stepdaughter has.  Then again, I’ll never find someone to marry if I’m forbidden to date!  Don’t worry, dear daughter, I’ll drive carefully and be home by ten.

Photo via Flickr

Source: Hollywood Life

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