I am about to turn 42 and yet I still don’t know my own name. How is that possible?
When I got married in 2000, I decided to keep my so-called maiden name professionally and take my husband’s last name for my personal life.
It all seemed quite clear I would change my surname in every official way. My medical records, bills, credit cards, driver’s license would all be in my married name. And I would only use my given name for work.
But things didn’t work out so neatly.
Once I legally changed my name to my husband’s, I soon began to understand that the roles we play in life are not so easily delineated.
It’s gotten to the point where when someone asks my name, I’m not sure how to answer.
Like me, April Peveteaux at “The Stir” decided to keep her maiden name professionally and take her husband’s last name for every other aspect of her life. It seems to be working well for Peveteaux/Goldman, but I find it just confusing!
My fellow Strollerderby blogger Carolyn Castiglia made the same decision when she got married. The only problem is — now she’s divorced and still has her husband’s name legally. “Now it’s REALLY confusing! My ex doesn’t even make the child support checks out to the right person!” she half-jokes.
I feel as if I made the wishy-washy decision and sort of regret that I didn’t take a stance one way or the other. Was I naive to think I could have the best of both worlds?
How did you resolve the surname issue? And do you have any regrets?
Other Name-related posts by Paula Bernstein:
photo: flickr/Sarah Parrott