When you hear that someone in a marriage is riding the couch at night, or sleeping in the guest room or (gasp!) actually maintains their own room separate from their spouse, most people assume there is trouble in paradise.
But does sleeping separately really signify trouble or do people just want to get some sleep already?
In a post called No Sleep Since Brooklyn over on Babble Voices my husband and I discuss the fact that we maintain separate bedrooms.
(You can watch us discuss how we feel about that in the video below.)
As it turns out, we aren’t alone and the number of couples who have chosen to sleep apart are growing. According to Match.com a study by the National Sleep Foundation finds that 25% of couples sleep in separate bedrooms.
For most people, including my husband and I, it’s a practical decision. Someone snores, hogs the covers, likes to sleep with the TV on…
The stigma surrounding a married couple sleeping apart is not a small one, though. As previously mentioned, people assume there is trouble in the marriage. While there may be trouble in my marriage it certainly isn’t related to the fact that we maintain separate bedrooms. In fact, I submit to you that our decision has improved the marriage.
But maybe that perception is all about to change. As Match.com reports, “by 2015, The National Association of Home Builders says that it expects 60 percent of custom-built homes to include dual master bedrooms for this exact reason. “It’s important for couples facing these issues to try their best to avoid being influenced by negative social stigma and [others'] judgment around sleeping apart and be as creative and innovative in finding solutions that work for them,” says Manhattan psychologist Dr. Joseph Cilona.”
Some people think sleeping separately will take a toll on overall intimacy. What do you think? Will the romance in your marriage suffer if you sleep separately? If so, is a good night’s sleep worth the risk?
In the video below my husband and I discuss that issue and more:
Photo Credit: Flickr.com
You can also find Monica on her personal blog, The Girl Who.