The cicadas are a-comin’, and it’s going to be awesome. From the constant stream of Facebook statuses explaining that periodical cicadas’ lifespans are prime numbers to that delightfully crunchy quality your driveway is about to take on, there’s just good times waiting for all.
The brood of cicadas that’s currently working its way out of the ground between Georgia and Connecticut is one of the largest of the fifteen U.S. cicada broods. If you live in Brood II’s zone, you are about to outnumbered 600 to 1 by sex-crazed flying bugs. Millions (possibly billions) of cicadas are about to emerge from the ground in the cicada equivalent of a Jersey Shore Spring Break nightmare. They will drunkenly swarm around, making a racket and trying to hook up, and leave beer cans in your bushes.
The good news is, they’re not really harmful, just annoying and gross. It’s possible for them to damage young trees, though, so you might want to protect saplings with netting. Cicadas don’t bite or sting, although if they mistake you for a branch, they might try to feed from you.
And, they won’t be here all summer or anything. They show up when the ground temperature reaches 64 degrees, have their wild sex party, and die after a few weeks. Their offspring will wait underground for another 17 years.
There are also a lot of upsides to the cicada invasion, if you look at it the right way. You can use the cicadas as food, home movie props, and craft supplies (as always, turn to Etsy for inspiration). You can post photos of cicadas to Instagram and Facebook and humblebrag about how you have the most cicadas in the neighborhood.
And, of course, you can meme-ify them. Below are my suggestions for more ways to thoroughly enjoy the 2013 cicada invasion Swarmageddon.
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