As if life couldn’t get any better for young ones who are out of school for the summer, it turns out that the ante has just been upped: new data suggests candy is good for kids.
OK, maybe it’s not exactly good for them. But a study published in Food & Nutrition Research says that researchers at Louisiana State University found that little kids who ate candy were 22 percent less likely to be overweight or obese, and adolescents with a sweet tooth were 26 percent less likely to be fat than their non-candy-eating counterparts.
Buzzing with excitement over the news, kids everywhere are now pooling their allowance money to commission research in the hope of debunking other notorious myths. The top priorities on their list are as follows:
Carrots and Eyesight 1 of 7Carrots only help eyesight if first smothered in chocolate and covered with sprinkles. And if they're served without the actual carrots. So chocolate and sprinkles helps eyesight. Carrots are for rabbits. Got that?
Santa Claus 2 of 7Naughty or nice? Puhleeeease. Santa is so farsighted and deaf from the terrible conditions in his toy factories that he hasn't a clue if you've been good or remained in time out for the majority of the year. Go nuts; the presents will arrive regardless and as scheduled on Christmas morning.
Television 3 of 7Too much television is good for your brain. Commercials make you smarter. Video games make you cleverer. And the ratings system is for the birds. "Reservoir Dogs," anyone?
Sleep 4 of 7Eight hours? Bah humbug! Who needs sleep when you can stay up late and keep your parents up? Only the weak need sleep. In fact, there is no better way to get tough and prove the degree of your toughness than to ensure everyone in your family is sleep-deprived.
Running with Scissors 5 of 7What's the worst that happens? Someone gets cut? That's what stitches and Band-Aids are for. While we're at it, running with knives or similarly sharp and pointy objects should be encouraged. Blood builds character (until it comes out in the wash, of course, and then you just need to start your engines again).
Interrupting 6 of 7It's not rude to interrupt if you have something important to say. And what kid ever didn't have something important to say? You step right in and speak up when the time is right for you, which is pretty much always, right?
Thank You Notes 7 of 7People should be thanking you for the privilege of giving you a gift. After all, clearly you did something remarkable — like be born or celebrate Easter — in order to deserve it. You're welcome.
Source: CBS News
Images: Wikipedia + Creative Commons