I can’t believe summer is basically over! It feels like vacation just started, and yet here we are at back-to-school time once again. Many colleges are in session this week, and in parts of the country primary school students are in class as well. Though nobody likes going back to school – not even teachers – BuzzFeed tried to give Internet denizens some perspective with their post 27 Things That Are Worse Than Going Back to School. While I agree that dropping a pizza is worse than almost anything this side of genocide, BuzzFeed’s list only provides salve for the student’s soul. Because even having to stick your head up some dude’s butt as a wrestling referee seems better than dealing with this stuff as a parent:
1. Spend $100 on School Supplies
Then being asked three months later to buy more school supplies
2. Pick-up Playdate Bomb
Mommy, Kelly and I wanna have a playdate! Can we have a playdate? PLEASE! Why not? Why can’t we have a playdate right now? What do you mean we have PLANS? I don’t care what they are unless they involve a PLAYDATE! YOU NEVER LET ME HAVE ANY PLAYDATES!” (pause) “Okay then, can we get ice cream?”
3. Girl Drama
Betsy said to Katie that Jennifer wouldn’t talk to Susan, but that’s not true because Susan was talking to Jennifer and then Katie said Besty was just lying but Katie told Jordan that she thought it was true.
4. Boy Drama
Kevin hit Jeffrey in the face. Sigh.
5. Girl and Boy Drama
Mommy, Maria told me that Stephanie and Michael got married. But that was two days ago. Now they’re divorced. (That’s what happens when you marry too young! It never lasts.)
6. Teacher Emails/ School Web Portals/ Class Blogs
Do I not get enough email from my job? Now I need to know what is happening every second of the day while my kid is at school? “Leslie just took a poo. I know because her teacher just emailed me about it. I wonder if she added a photo to the class Twitter feed…”
7. School Lunch
Real photo of a real school “lunch” served at my daughter’s school. Keep trying, USDA.
8. Permission Slips
Field trip permission slips, permission slips to take out library books, birthday party permission slips, playdate permission slips… you can sign in blood from all the paper cuts!
9. School Store Junk
Random plastic bits of crap falling apart and landing all over the house. Everything is so small and easily lost and bawled over when it cannot be found in spite of the fact that it was made in China and full of lead.
10. Class Parents
Letting you know it’s bake sale time, reminding you about the school dress code, dealing with relationship issues and letting you know that your kids don’t need cell phones. They mean well…