Do you know what’s awesome about being a mom? Pretty much everything. But after reading the recent Buzzfeed sensation “The 21 Absolute Worst Things in the World” (that include things like hangnails, annoying Facebook feeds and cups of yogurt tipped over), I thought I’d apply the concept to momming. Because as much as I love this gig, there are moments that make you question your sanity, forget your identity and wonder if you have the ability to hold down breakfast.
Let’s start with:
- The stomach flu, which is never, of course, limited to just stomachs.
- The lack of sleep that is so overwhelming and mind-numbing that it makes you feel drunk all day.
- Being that exhausted, every day for months, and then just when you think a break is coming … ear infection.
- Finding poop in places that poop should not be.
- Kids that are mean to your kid on the playground.
- Your imagination when they aren’t with you, or as I like to call it: The Fear.
- That feeling in the pit of your stomach right after you yell at your child, when you see their little face crumple and realize that you’re a big a-hole.
- Kissing a forehead and realizing someone has a really high fever.
- Imagining what it’s going to be like when they’re teenagers.
- Actually having them be teenagers. Driving around in cars, with other teenagers.
- When your baby is really young and the world feels off kilter and you try to remember the last time you had a shower and you can’t.
- Realizing too late you forgot to pack an extra change of clothes in the diaper bag. Realizing too late the person who needs a change of clothes is you.
- Any child abduction story in the media.
- Head lice.
- When you see your child doing something really irritating and you realize, they’re acting just like me. OH DEAR GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?
- Hearing about things like “rainbow parties” taking place in 7th grade.
- The first time your kid has a problem that you can’t make go away with a snuggle and a kiss.
- That moment where your boobs should go from food source to sexytime and feeling like you have no idea how to make that happen.
- Counting the days until they go back to school because they’re driving you insane. And then missing them like crazy the second they get on the bus.
- When you’re in a crowd, and you lose sight of them. And it takes one really, really long moment before you see them again.
- The Ominous Silence … followed by some sort of mischief and usually a disaster that requires scrubbing.
It’s funny, none of these bad things on my list about momming are actually about KIDS. The kids are the good part. It’s all the other stuff. The stuff that makes it harder or scary. That I did wrong or can’t control. I guess there’s a lesson there, huh?
Got any more to add to the list? I’d love to read your thoughts!