I just voted.
Surprisingly, the experience was pretty excellent. Empty firehouse, row of sweet, old ladies and nobody else in the building.
Perhaps that’s because I live out in the country, in a tiny village containing less than 100 residents.
But you, you probably had to wait a while. And in the process of waiting you maybe encountered some unsavory individuals hellbent on giving you The Business which includes but isn’t limited to trying to sway your vote or telling you who they’re voting for and then proceeding to laboriously explain to you why their vote is the right vote.
So, if you haven’t yet voted, brace yourselves for the 7 worst people you’ll meet while voting.
The Patriot 1 of 7You can spot him by his American flag paraphernalia. He can often be found flirting with The Rules Lady because the fate of America is in their hands. He talks loudly about why Mitt Romney is the best man for the job and winks at you because he knows that you, of course, share his opinion because it's the right one.
The Rules Lady 2 of 7Don't mess with her, the future of America is riding on her shoulders. Have your ID ready and pretend like you're ordering from "The Soup Nazi" and step along the assembly line or NO VOTE FOR YOU!
Photo Credit: oaklandnorth.net
The Undecided Voter 3 of 7
The Chatty Neighbor 4 of 7She really is a sweetheart but man can she talk a lot. No amount of pretending to text on your iPhone deters her from telling you all about her voting plans and then her daughter and her daughter's husband, John, who is a really important mucky muck somewhere and nobody knows this but John got a DUI last month and... By the time you vote you know more about her kids and grandkids than you do about the candidates.
Photo Credit: makemineministry.blogspot.com
The Dumb Ass 5 of 7He isn't even sure if he's in the right location but he wants to vote for Barack Oromney. Does he fill in a bubble, pull a lever? Oh wait, he forgot his ID.
Photo Credit: toledoblade.com
The Elderly Curmudgeon 6 of 7This guy enjoys listening to The Patriot but is mostly just there for the free doughnuts. And, as the dudes over at brobible.com say he has nothing better to do. "He's got a hat with his old naval ship name on it and won't stop until he gets your thoughts on the weather or local high school football team."
Photo Credit: grumpyelder.com
What Is He Doing In There? 7 of 7Tweeting? Checking in on foursquare? Still deciding who to vote for? Masturbating? Any way you look at it, he sucks.
Photo Credit: politicsspa.com
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