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The Humble Brag: The Worst Offenses of Online Parent Gloating

By Monica Bielanko |

This is Henry, my 9-month-old who constantly sings the alphabet. It's SO annoying when I'm trying to write.

We all know them. The parents who love to be “annoyed” by all the amazing things their children are doing.

You know the ones. Those Facebook friends who like to keep you informed of every little milestone by complaining about it.

Babble’s Rhiana Maidenberg decided to take action against the worst offenders of online parent gloating and has compiled a list of the ten worst offenses.  Here are just a few:

Exhibit A: “My 19-month-old won’t stop talking. It is driving me crazy!”

Exhibit B: “I was so sick during my pregnancy. I only was able to gain 10 pounds!”

Exhibit C: “I am so tired of being asked if I am my childrens’ nanny. I can’t help that I look so young.”

Exhibit D: “Whenever I take my child anywhere, strangers always stop us to admire her. I can’t even go grocery shopping in peace!”

To check out the rest and see if you know a few humble braggarts click here and check out Maidenberg’s article, The Humble Brag, including her stellar commentary.

I never gloat. In fact, I’m a slacker parent. I mean, my kid speaks Spanish but it’s because of Dora The Explorer, not me. To illustrate just what a lazy parent I am I wanted to show you how smart my kid is because of Nick Jr. She’s all the time following me around with this book of shapes, wanting to talk about shapes, specifically trapezoids and parallelagrams. It’s SO annoying. I mean, seriously. How am I supposed to get anything done? Sigh.

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About Monica Bielanko


Monica Bielanko

Monica Bielanko was raised on the wild frontier of late 1970's Utah. She is a recovering Mormon who married the guitar player of an unknown band. She's been married to her Babble Voices writing partner, Serge Bielanko, for the past nine years. Her personal blog, The Girl Who was in the top ten of last year's Top 50 list. Read bio and latest posts → Read Monica's latest posts →

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12 thoughts on “The Humble Brag: The Worst Offenses of Online Parent Gloating

  1. Katy E says:

    Oh.My.GOD! I want to eat her! She’s so cute and so smart! Gotta love a girl with big brains!

  2. Melissa H says:

    So, so, so, so sweet. I love everything about the way she talks!

  3. Kate says:

    She is THE CUTEST GIRL EVER!!!!!!!

  4. gina says:

    Oh my goodness. Shapes! How sweet was that?! Violet is at once astounding and adorable! Wow. I had to share this with my mom who was a basic skills teacher and boy was she IMPRESSED! We watched that a couple of times at least. You just wanna cheer for her…go Violet, go Violet! Yay!

  5. Nicole says:

    That was possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I’d probably have difficulty picking out a trapezoid :=)

  6. Karen says:

    Good lord… she is adore! That’s a great duo right there. Me thinks your family is quite wonderful!

  7. Alexandra says:

    My daughter (age 2) and I were transfixed. Violet is wonderful…don’t need to tell you. So is my little love and you’ll never hear me being pseudo-annoyed about it either.

  8. Manjari says:

    She’s adorable.

  9. Sarah says:

    She is so precious. You can totally see it in her eyes and in her face…come on Dad I know you can find it. Then she is soo proud when he does. She is just as excited for his as she is for herself..haha :)

  10. Caroline says:

    Very cute, and reminded me very much of Jacob Two Two, the main character in a series of books by Mordecai Richler. Check out the first book, Jacob Two Two and the Hooded Fang — it might be a bit old for V now, but you’ll enjoy it until she’s ready.

  11. LeaLea says:

    I’m expecting my first at the end of February and they tell us it’s a girl.
    I hope she’s as awesome as this little one!

  12. Lisa S. says:

    I am so guilty of complaining about my son being too cute that I can’t get anything done, but honestly not because I wanted to humblebrag but because it was seriously such a time drain. It’s an awful thing to complain about, but the problem stemmed from him being very sociable & engaging. Granted, all my kids are adorable, but my son would suck every passerby into a conversation with me with his eye contact and waving and smiles. It really was a giant pain, it would take me double the time to grocery shop, because I’d have the same conversation with people once or twice an aisle. It was like a script… here’s his name, yes, he’s cute, and then you don’t want to be rude when they want to stand there and play peekaboo because HE wants to play peekaboo and because he would smile and giggle at every stupid sound or face someone would make at him. I know for each person it was only a few minutes out of their day but for me it added up to an extra hour in the grocery store. Every single damn time.

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