Categories

The Pain of Kids Waaaaay After Birth

badbabySo there’s the stretching cervix, the contracting uterus, the post-op recovery, the general fatigue. But as anyone with a toddler knows, the physical pain of becoming a parent doesn’t end in the hospital or during those first few weeks resting comfortably at home.

For a lot of us, birth pain is just a teaser. The big stuff — head butts, biting, deep, deep lacerations caused by fingernails — make the hours of labor and recovery seem like a day at the spa.

MSNBC talks to moms and dads in When Babies Attack and gives us the worst of the worst. Scratched corneas, broken noses and bitten-off nipples. Yowza!

All three of my babies have been precocious teethers — the first four teeth coming in before they reached five months old. And all of them went through a biting phase. But my son — my youngest — has elicited the most and loudest screams from me, which sometimes cause him to cry … and other times to laugh. At me. Screaming. (Next post: are babies inherently evil?)

He’s also way into head-butting his father. And when not chewing on my nipples, he likes grabbing this jowly bit below my chin. Such delicate fingers. Such a tight grip!

He pinches his sisters arms in the back seat of the car.

My middle child, a tank since birth who loved to be carried, is responsible for destroying the cartilige in the joint of a toe on my right foot. I’m now an ibuprofen addict.

My oldest once thought screaming instead of whispering while her lips were right next to my ear would be hilarious! I regained most of my hearing a few hours later.

But the MSNBC article talks of far worse — one mom thought she’d need reconstructive surgery. Which makes me wonder about you? How have your little ones beat the crap out of you?

More Posts

Breast-feeding Boosts Grades a Bunch

Man Showers vs. Lady Showers vs. Mom Showers

Good Times in a Swing (-able) Dress

Mega-Multiples, Pre- Jon & Kate

A Case Against Marriage

Birth Videos on YouTube Abound

Birth Film for Traumatized Fathers

Photo: MSNBC

Tagged as: , , , ,

Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Learn More.