10 Things Never To Say To A Mom 1 of 11
1. "You look tired!"
This just might be the worst phrase ever. No good can come of saying it. Feeling like crap is bad; getting confirmation of it, worse. Lets all permanently delete the words from our mental hard drives. (Unless you'd like to use it on your evil boss.)
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2. "Do you work?"
Whether or not a mom has a job with a paycheck is beside the point. Every mom works — the morning shift, the afternoon shift, the night shift, the wee-hours shift. We are cooks, housecleaners, chauffeurs, stylists, toy fixers, and butt-wipers. We dont even get insurance or Summer Fridays, although there are some job perks like kisses and hugs. But please, don't ask if we work. We do: All. The. Damn. Time.
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3. You look like such a mom!
Especially intolerable when stated by a woman who is a) younger than you and b) has smaller hips than you do.
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4. Oh, my, you have your hands full.
Are you saying I have too many kids? Or that I look like I cant handle it? Or that my kids are being bratty? Theres nothing helpful in that statement whatsoever.
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5. That top/dress is so flattering on you.
Flattering somehow always seems to be code for, It disguises your bison-like shape. Just say the top, dress or pants look good.
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6. If that were my child, Id [fill in the blank]!
Yes, my child may be lying in the middle of Aisle 9, having a tantrum, and attracting unsolicited comments, but getting that comment from a passerby is enough to make me want to fling myself down and scream. Back away, discipline nosybody, and nobody gets hurt.
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7. My kid also went through a nose-picking phase!
Its mortifying enough to have a child with a finger permanently up his nose. Could you maybe just pretend not to notice?
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8. Whens the baby due?
Actually, there is no baby in there — just baby fat, left over from the last kid. And if you stammer Oh, yeah, people always ask if I am pregnant too! it wont make things any better.
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9. I wouldnt let my child eat that.
Yes, I am aware that I am letting my child eat a non-organic hot dog and/or a Twinkie. It is not an offense punishable by law. Please keep your food cop tendencies to yourself.
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10. Glad Im not the only one who wears mom jeans!
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