Do you tell your husband everything? Or do you selectively keep some information private?
Everyone has a filter that regularly omits bits of information in our marriages and each of our filters are different. Some edit out shopping excursions, thoughts on his friends, or what we really think of his taste in music and clothes. And husbands, likewise do the same with wives.
Sometimes we do this to spare our spouse’s feelings but sometimes, often in the throws of an argument, we let loose and say things we shouldn’t. We’ve all done it and we’ll probably all do it again one time or another.
Although our individual grievances differ, psychologists often warn us that there are certain things that should never be said.
Woman’s Day recently listed the top things you should never say to your husband:
1. “Yes, I had an orgasm.” (when you didn’t)
2. “You’re just like your father.
3. “When are you going to find a new job?”
4. “My mother warned me you’d do this!”
5. “Just leave it––I’ll do it myself!
6. “You always… [fill in the blank]” or “You never… [fill in the blank]”
7. “Do you really think those pants are flattering?”
8. “Ugh, we’re hanging out with him again?
9. “Please watch the kids. But don’t do this, take them here or forget that…”
The problem in most of these scenarios is the underlying tone and intention behind the words. Even though they might not sound blatantly terrible, in many cases, they cause resentment.
I admit I’ve definitely uttered a few of these, particularly numbers 5 and 6. It’s something I have improved upon each year but it can be so difficult to retain your calm in the midst of a heated argument at the end of a hectic day. Communication is such a vital part of any relationship and luckily there is always room for improvement.
Are you guilty of uttering these phrases? Which ones hit home for you?
Read Danielle’s blog Just Write Mom.