I just stumbled across this post on BuzzFeed Shift highlighting the awful way some of the members of online parenting group Urban Baby speak to others. The site is (allegedly, anyway) overrun with rich Manhattanites who call women with less money “strivers” and describe those “strivers” as trying to socialize outside of their “caste.” Yes, caste.
But that’s just what I got from one look at BuzzFeed’s post. An actual visit to the site shows that when one mother brags about how well her child’s school is doing, another replies, “Score one for the ugly kids.” (ps – Her own kid goes to the school.)
Here’s another exchange:
How does episcopal do with unconnected children for K admissions?
»left with scraps
»Stages a Hunger Games like fight for the two remaining spots. Whoever lives – goes to PS.
»That isn’t funny
»np – i thought it was, totally
These grown-up mean girls admit that the site is a “sick addiction” but that they “can’t stop” saying things like:
“Ugh just in from shopping, if you can’t control your dc (dear child), do not bring them shopping. I leave mine with the nanny for some solitude and it was shattered by your precious snowflakes.”
Though I have (obviously) gotten a great deal out of my engagement with the parenting side of the blogosphere, I would never, never join a thread-based site like Urban Baby. These sites become cliques and anyone who is looking for a community but who isn’t a part of the right “caste” is going to be made to feel horrible when they’re already feeling vulnerable as a new parent. There is an online parenting community based around the neighborhood I live in and you couldn’t pay me a million dollars to join it, which is too bad, because I’m sure I’d like some of the information on various threads, but I just can’t deal with this kind of toxic garbage coming from people who have children. (One thread on my nabe’s site described my daughter’s public school as “sub-par,” even though it was actually graded the highest of the already very good public schools in the nabe according to official rankings.)
This kind of behavior is the ugly underbelly of the privileged class, and I find it vomitous. Enjoy your life with your DH and DC and keep dreaming about having “an affair post nuptial.” I’ll be down here with the other strivers taking our kids with us to the store. *shudder*