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Tis the Season for Awkward Family Photos: Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha, Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha

If only we looked as smooth as this guy.

Well, friends, another holiday season is upon us. And it means many things to many people. And one of the things it means to us is that we’ll get our fourth chance to take a yuletide family photo that, well, doesn’t suck. Regrettably, we’re 0 for 3. The good news is that this might well be our year. The bad news is that our efforts have been getting worse and worse, culminating in last year’s debacle.

Don’t believe me? Check it out for yourself. I’ve uploaded it for your comic relief viewing pleasure.

Okay, let’s see here…Caroline? Check. (Don’t let the near-perfect smile fool you. She’s barely holding it together, but Caroline’s still a check.)

Alright…Alli? Check, right there on Caroline’s lap.

The triplets? Jack and Kirby are with Mom. Dad’s got Sam. Checkity-check-check.

Bald spot? Oh yeah. Gotta solid bead on it. Check.

Meltdowns?  That’s a check and a double check. Kirby’s going nuts and Sammy’s starting to lose it, too.

Look of fear? Yup. Jack’s got that covered over there on the left. Check.

Santa? Santa? Uh oh. Where in the world is Santa?

Houston, we have a problem. Santa’s nowhere to be found, and I don’t like our chances of getting this bunch back here for a second picture. In fact, I think the dad just made a beeline for the bar.

WAIT. WAIT. My bad. We got him. Santa’s in there. His eye that is. And that’s all we really need. You know, the whole “He’s sees you when you’re sleeping,” bit. We’re good, we’re good. False alarm.

Behold, my friends. Not sure why it’s stretched out, but the fun-house-mirror effect does nothing but exacerbate the awkwardness, anyway, so all in all, it’s a nice touch, I suppose.

from left to right: Jack, Caroline, Kirby, Santa's left eye, Alli, Sam, my bald spot and me.

Just wait until child number five arrives! Do you have any holiday-themed awkward family photos you’d like to discuss? Links people. I want links. Happy Holidays, everyone!

Photo: stock.xchg

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John Cave Osborne’s personal blog.
John Cave Osborne’s book website.

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