“Every young woman needs someone to edify her, to uplift her” sorority image consultants Marlea Foster and Pat Grant told ABC’s Good Morning America.
Ms. Foster and Ms. Grant, who describe themselves as “concerned Panhellenic-minded women” own Rushbiddies, which offers workshops and personal consultation on hair, make-up, wardrobe, conversation and etiquette. According to a recent article in the New York Times, they formed the consultancy “after hearing about the rush misfortunes of their daughters’ friends.”
Because OHMYGAH rush misfortunes.
“They’re judging you on what you look like and what your clothes are like and what your nails are like,” 17-year-old Ari Berman said on Good Morning America.
Ms. Berman, who started at Chapman College this fall, hired Samantha Von Sperling, a $300-an-hour New York City consultant to give her an edge on the competition.
What do you get for $300? A Skype session where she offers such gems as “accessorize, accessorize, accessorize.”
An intensive, weekend-long workshop with Ms. von Sperling runs you $8,000. And apparetly, parents are willing to shell out the money to help their daughters prepare for rush week.
Ms. Berman got into Alpha Phi sorority, her top choice. “This is such a dream come true,” she gushed to Good Morning America via Skype.
Done weeping for humanity and now just sitting there slack-jawed with horror? Let’s go over the salient points:
- Apparently some people have been completely unscathed by our crappy economy if they’ve got $8K to burn on getting their daughter some new friends.
- No one seems to feel that guys need consultants to get through fraternity rush week. I assume you just practice being humiliated and drinking from beer bongs?
- I actually cannot think of anything that exemplifies First World Problems more than the phrase “rush misfortunes.”
(Photo Credit: iStockphoto, with additional nonsense by Joslyn Gray for Strollerderby)
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