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Toddler Plus Newborn Equals Guilty Mama

Sweet Violet in the snow

I was watching my sweet two-year-old Violet read a book to herself today.  Well, her version of reading, anyway.  I watched her babble nonsense words while turning pages of her little book and just broke down bawling.

Henry is just over a week old, and so far, fingers crossed, everything is going great.  With Henry.  Violet is another story altogether.  She’s fussier, cries a lot and ignores Henry.  All things that are apparently normal toddler behavior when a newborn is introduced into the mix.

Still.  I can’t help it.  I feel so guilty.  Intellectually I know that’s ridiculous but I feel terrible for so completely rocking her world, you know?

I’ve been going back, looking at old photos of my little girl and I just want to bawl my eyes out that she’ll never be that baby again.  I’m sure I’m just a hormonal mess but having Henry reminds me of what a tiny baby Violet once was and now her little starfish toddler hands seem gigantic.  Until I pushed out Henry I called Violet my baby, but now she’s a big girl.  And it makes me so sad!

Eventually, hopefully, she’ll have a great time playing with her little brother, but right now, when she looks at him and then looks at me with confused, bewildered eyes my heart flip-flops and I feel guilty.  For two years it’s been all about her.  My trusty sidekick, my confidante, my best pal, and now I wonder if it’ll ever be like that again.  Maybe not for a while.  Not while I’m so busy dealing with the little guy.

If and when you introduced a second child into the mix, how did you do it?  Was it hard?  Did you feel guilty bringing home another baby?

Throw a second-time mama some tips, wouldja?

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