I was watching my sweet two-year-old Violet read a book to herself today. Well, her version of reading, anyway. I watched her babble nonsense words while turning pages of her little book and just broke down bawling.
Henry is just over a week old, and so far, fingers crossed, everything is going great. With Henry. Violet is another story altogether. She’s fussier, cries a lot and ignores Henry. All things that are apparently normal toddler behavior when a newborn is introduced into the mix.
Still. I can’t help it. I feel so guilty. Intellectually I know that’s ridiculous but I feel terrible for so completely rocking her world, you know?
I’ve been going back, looking at old photos of my little girl and I just want to bawl my eyes out that she’ll never be that baby again. I’m sure I’m just a hormonal mess but having Henry reminds me of what a tiny baby Violet once was and now her little starfish toddler hands seem gigantic. Until I pushed out Henry I called Violet my baby, but now she’s a big girl. And it makes me so sad!
Eventually, hopefully, she’ll have a great time playing with her little brother, but right now, when she looks at him and then looks at me with confused, bewildered eyes my heart flip-flops and I feel guilty. For two years it’s been all about her. My trusty sidekick, my confidante, my best pal, and now I wonder if it’ll ever be like that again. Maybe not for a while. Not while I’m so busy dealing with the little guy.
If and when you introduced a second child into the mix, how did you do it? Was it hard? Did you feel guilty bringing home another baby?
Throw a second-time mama some tips, wouldja?