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Top 10: Subtle Ways to Tell Him He's Going Bald

By carolyncastiglia |

ask men, top 10, subtle ways fat

Let him know how ugly he is, but BE SUBTLE.

You may have seen Ask Men’s wildly hilarious piece Top 10: Subtle Ways To Tell Her She’s Getting Fat, since it was circulating pretty widely on the Internet today. (Circulating widely … like her butt … am I right, fellas??? Man, life was way more funner before women and black people got paid to work.)

Ask Men’s post is full of laugh-out-loud funny suggestions like “Buy her clothes that are too small” (you know, a nice tight outfit she can wear while watching Gaslight or other Victorian-era films filled with corsets) and “Sign her up for yoga under the pretense of ‘stress relief.’” (Cuz Lord knows the way you’ve started to pull away and secretly loathe her for gaining weight isn’t cause for actual stress!) Now, I know I’m just a girl in the world, but I thought I’d try to stretch my brain muscles (to make them longer and leaner!) and see if I could come up with a similar list of ways we chubby ladies could tell our fellas that they’re, well, getting a little thin up top.

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Top 10: Subtle Ways To Tell Him He's Going Bald

Take him to the hairdresser...

...then have her say, "Um, looks like you don't need me!"
Photo via Flickr

Main photo via Flickr

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About carolyncastiglia

carolyncastiglia

carolyncastiglia

Carolyn Castiglia is a New York-based comedian/writer wowing audiences with her stand-up and freestyle rap. She’s appeared in TONY, The NY Post, The Idiot’s Guide to Jokes and Life & Style. You can find Carolyn’s writing elsewhere online at MarieClaire.com and The Huffington Post. Read bio and latest posts → Read Carolyn's latest posts →

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5 thoughts on “Top 10: Subtle Ways to Tell Him He's Going Bald

  1. Andrea says:

    Not really the same thing. You can do something about getting fat. There is nothing he can do about going bald. This seems unneccesarily cruel. Pointing out that your partner is getting fat doesn’t have to be, and there are many, many people who do not find fat bodies appealing.

  2. Alison says:

    Oh, Andrea . . .drop dead already.

  3. Carly says:

    Yes, personally I would love it if my husband told me I was getting fat, because that would make me feel really good about myself, and secure in our love. In fact, I would give him some roses and tell him that I think he should be more bald because I want to return his kindness.

  4. marlene says:

    Drop dead already…whoa a bit callous:) At least you have the nerve to type it out loud. Me over here saying over and over in my head is this lady for real, the whole post is HILARIOUS!!! Keep em coming.

  5. amywindsor says:

    I’m all over that hairy dude. Hair vests are totally hot. In a “muffin tops are totally hot” kinda way.

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