Top 10 Parenting Scandals of February, 2011

February 4, Church threatens "My son is gay" mom: Repent, or get out.

The mother who famously took to the blogosphere to defend her cross-dressing five-year-old from meanie moms finds herself wrestling with a new bully: her church. The adorably-named "Nerdyapplebottom" gets lectured by her pastor for "promoting gayness" and for "bearing false witness" against the women who derided her son’s Daphne costume at Halloween. The church threatens to kick her out, but she cries foul, saying, "Bullying is not okay, even if you wrap it in a bow and call it ‘spiritual care.’"

February 8, Parents rise up against MTV’s Skins; advertisers run for the hills.

Parents shriek in protest and advertisers flee from Skins, a new MTV series chronicling the triumvirate of parenting nightmares: sex, nudity, and drugs. The Parents Television Council leads the charge, citing the portrayal of underage actors in "pornography"-like situations. Their lobbying campaign appeared successful, as high-dollar advertisers such as Subway and Schick pulled out and viewership had dropped from 3.3 to 1 million one month after the show’s January debut.

February 9, Michelle Obama "not a big fan of young kids having Facebook."

The First Lady tells the Today Show that her daughters are not allowed to have Facebook accounts, as she’s "not a big fan of young kids having Facebook" anyway. A surge of blogosphere navel-gazing ensues, with "How young is too young?" questions being raised in light of concerns over the social media giant’s controversial privacy practices. The company’s official line is that users under 13 are not allowed to hold accounts, but there appears to be rampant use by children much younger (this mom reports seeing many 8-year-olds with accounts).

February 15, Fellow reporters turn ugly after reporter/mother Lara Logan’s sexual assault.

CBS reporter and mother of two Lara Logan suffers "a brutal and sustained sexual assault and beating" while covering the crisis in Egypt on the day Hosni Mubarak relinquished power. Traumatic enough, but a handful of cretinous reporters cruelly add insult to injury by mocking the attractive, blonde reporter. NYU Fellow Nir Rosen (who has since resigned over the incident) tweeted that Logan "had to outdo Anderson [Cooper]" by getting raped, adding, "Sometimes we have to find humor in the small things." And Mofo Politics posted on February "OMG if I were her captors and there were no sanctions for doing so? I would totally rape her."

February 18, Dina Lohan bats away comparisons between her daughter and Charlie Sheen.

Oh, the irony! It’s scandal-prone celebrity hour, as Charlie Sheen advises Lindsay Lohan to work on her "impulse control" via a call-in talk show. Days later, after relaying her daughter’s return advice to Sheen — "just get help" — Dina Lohan complains that she can’t understand why people draw similarities between the two. "He's been in the business a lot longer than my daughter and he's from Hollywood," the star’s mom told George Stephanopoulos on Good Morning America.

February 21, Egyptian man names baby Facebook in honor of the revolution.

An Egyptian man names his newborn daughter Facebook in honor of the role the social network played in Hosni Mubarak’s ouster. It’s not surprising, considering the popularity of the site in Egypt: five million Egyptians are on Facebook, more than any other Middle Eastern country, according to TechCrunch. Despite the fact that the poor kid will hear more than her fair share of jokes in her lifetime, AllFacebook itself says, "The parents’ intention is no doubt a noble one: To thank the medium they believe helped the most in spreading their message of mobilization and freedom."

February 22, Six-year-old’s $32,000 birthday party proves that spoiling is recession-proof.

TLC debuts Outrageous Kid Parties, a four-part documentary proving that the filthy rich aren’t the only parents who know how waste good money. First up: the story of 6-year-old Gracie from Utah, whose parents blew $32,000 on a super-deluxe princess castle birthday party. The soiree included a life-sized Cinderella carriage and horses, costumes for each of the 2,000 guests, actors hired to play the Fairy Godmother and Prince Charming, and a $2,000 cake.

February 22, Mom humiliates son for low GPA: Motivation, or maltreatment?

Frustrated with her 15-year-old son’s 1.22 grade point average, Florida mom Ronda Holder hangs a sign around his neck reading, "Honk if I need [an] education" and forces him to stand on a street corner for four hours. A day after James Mond III’s punishment, a local middle school enrolled him in after-school tutoring and the Department of Children and Families intervened. The unapologetic 33-year-old mother, a high school dropout, told the St. Petersburg Times, "This is one child who won't be lost to the streets."

February 25, Baby-killing nurse allowed to get out of jail early.

Genene Jones, a Texas nurse who may have killed up to 50 infants in her care during the 70s and 80s, may be eligible for early release from prison due to an antiquated state law. Jones purportedly "played God" by injecting babies with poison and then reviving them to be seen as a hero. She was convicted of the murder of 15-month-old Chelsea McClellan in 1985 and originally sentenced to 99 years in jail. The woman said to have inspired the Annie Wilkes character from Stephen King’s Misery is set to be released from prison in 2017 as part of a "mandatory release" law to prevent prison overcrowding.

February 25, British ice cream parlor introduces breast milk ice cream; even Lady Gaga mortified.

We know breast is best, but when it comes to ice cream? Maybe not so much. "Pure, organic, free-range and totally natural" is how a London ice cream parlor described its latest offering: ice cream made from human breast milk. Matt O’Connor, founder of The Icecreamists, said, "No one’s done anything interesting with ice cream in the last hundred years." The frozen treat, dubbed Baby Gaga, was eventually confiscated by city officials due to health concerns. Even Lady Gaga, the queen mum of publicity stunts, filed a cease and desist letter warning the shop to stop offering the "nausea-inducing" product.