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Totally Weird and Wacky Records for Kids

records3Here’s a little something about me, I am a vinyl addict. While my friends got turned on to the compact disc and later got seduced by the simplicity of the audio download, I stayed true to the long-playing record. And I have a good reason to; my father owns a vinyl only record store in San Francisco. It’s my duty to keep dust off my turntable and to maintain my thousands of LPs in some sort of order. But when I had my daughter my record collecting changed. I was drawn more to Disney soundtracks than rare Damned releases. As our kid’s music section grows, I’ve notices something, some of these children’s records are are just totally weird. Recently, on a lark,  I tried to play Ali and His Gang vs. Mr. Tooth Decay and my daughter actually tried to rip the record off the turntable. Yeah, there were some questionable releases back in the day and the weirdness doesn’t stop there…

Check out this collection of weird and wacky records for kids right here:

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  • Ali an His Gang! 1 of 15
    Ali an His Gang!
    You've got to wonder what Muhammad Ali's reaction was when this agent got his this gig. It's an odd one for sure. The album, Ali and His Gang Vs. Mr. Tooth Decay, is all about, you guessed it, dental hygiene. It also features special appearances by Frank Sinatra and Howard Cosell.
    Photo Source: The Allee Willis Museum of Kitsch
  • Ken Turner 2 of 15
    Ken Turner
    What is going on with Ken Turner? One second he is going on a ride on his motorcycle (without a helmet), the next he's being chases up a tree by a bear, and then he's sitting on a church with a bullwhip. I seriously can not cobble together the logic to explain any of it.
    Photo Source: Shugarecrods/Ebay (available for $10 here)
  • Sex Explained for Children 3 of 15
    Sex Explained for Children
    Ready to have your children learn about the 'birds and the bees'? Why not throw on the long-playing LP entitled, "Sex explained for children." Odd, very odd.
    Photo Source: Bay of Fundie
  • New Zoo Revue 4 of 15
    New Zoo Revue
    Do you remember the show New Zoo Revue? Yeah, me neither. But just looking at this cover makes me happy that I don't remember it. It just looks wack-a-doodle.
    Photo Source: Way Out Junk
  • Weird and Wacky 5 of 15
    Weird and Wacky
    This album is entitles "Weird and wacky" and tries to communicate the marriage of "weird and wacky" in the cover's artwork. A sneaker wearing hot dog? Check. A soda that smiles? Yup. And of course you just have to have a big lipped fish. Photo Source: Allmusic.com
  • Captain Kangaroo 6 of 15
    Captain Kangaroo
    I don't know what it is about Captain Kangaroo, but he just totally creeps me out, especially with this shocked expression on his face.
    Photo Source: Gasoline Alley Antiques
  • Bozo and His Rocket Ship 7 of 15
    Bozo and His Rocket Ship
    A clown is scary enough, but a clown careening towards you in a rocket? Well, that really amps up the scary.
    Photo Source: The End of Being
  • Sparkle Plenty! 8 of 15
    Sparkle Plenty!
    One can only imagine what the Sparkle Plenty Birthday Party "non-breakable everlasting record" contains on it's tracks. But one thing for sure, this blonde haired birthday girl is really not dressed appropriately for a birthday party.  
    Photo Source: The End of Being
  • Healthy and Wealthy 9 of 15
    Healthy and Wealthy
    "Healthy and Wealthy" brought to you by Slim Goodbody and Kraft. This super weird looking LP features "songs from Adventures of Slim Goodbody in Nutri-City."
    Photo Source: Black Gem Records (available for $20)
  • Charlie the Hamster 10 of 15
    Charlie the Hamster
    What's a better way to teach your child Bible stories than by Charlie the talking Hamster, apparently a religious offshoot of Alvin and the Chipmunks. Photo Source: Bay of Fundie
  • Uncle Al 11 of 15
    Uncle Al
    I don't know about you, but I don't think I want to have "a visit with Uncle Al and his happy farm and castle," especially when there are scary witches and scarecrows hanging out. Creepy.
    Photo Source: LP Cover Lover
  • Alphabutt 12 of 15
    Alphabutt
    This is not an alphabet album for the faint of heart. Kimya Dawson gives a scatological outlook at the ABC with Alphabutt. An example, "A is for Apple, B is for Butt, C is for Cat-butt, D is for Doo-Doo, E is for Elephant-butt, F is for Fart, G is for Gorilla-fart, H is for Hairy Gorilla-fart"?
    Photo Source: BoingBoing
  • No More Feeling Weird 13 of 15
    No More Feeling Weird
    Does your child feel like they are "weird?" Well, if so, just pop on this album and let the grooves talk to your child about how they are different and how they are like and how this will lead to "no more feeling weird." Oh, if only all self-doubts were this easy to address.
    Photo Source: Record Relics (available for $9.99)
  • Star Trek vs. Planet of the Apes 14 of 15
    Star Trek vs. Planet of the Apes
    Now this is an odd mash up between two movies that have absolutely nothing in common - Star Trek and Planet of the Apes. Just having the two film titles next to each other is confusing.
    Photo Source: Office Thug
  • Kukla, Fran and Ollie 15 of 15
    Kukla,  Fran and Ollie
    This one wouldn't be so odd if it didn't appear that Ollie was about to take a bit bite out of Kukla. Those puppets can be brutal.
    Photo Source: The End of Being
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