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Trend Alert: “You’re Not Invited” Notes

wedding invites, how to let someone know they're not invited to your wedding, you're not invited, wedding etiquette, wedding crashers

Gee, thanks for letting me know.

A few weeks ago, my daughter came home from a visit to her dad’s house and told me that he and his girlfriend are getting married. A few friends have asked me if I plan on going to the wedding, and I’ve told them I assume I’m not invited. Of course if I were invited I would go, and I would bring a gift and smile and dance and play with my daughter, but I don’t expect to be asked to RSVP. I also wouldn’t expect to be explicitly told that I’m not invited to the ceremony, but apparently letting people know they’re *not* invited is now also a thing.

According to Jezebel, “it’s a trend for brides and grooms to tell people who didn’t make the cut that they aren’t going to witness the special day.” This tidbit came from a question sent to Dear Prudence, but Jezebel’s Tracy Moore responds by saying, “I can’t help but wonder if this wedding trend is not the scheming of a new generation of overzealous brides, delighting in the power trip of the dis-invite, as if it’s just another grown-up game of picking a kickball team. You, you and you, *smirks*, but not you.

Just not inviting someone to your wedding is a heads up enough that they don’t belong there, and I can’t see how sending a “you’re not invited” card would prevent someone crazy enough to crash from doing so. In fact, I can only imagine that would fuel the “oh yeah?” fire. “Oh, I’m not invited? That’s cool. I don’t need to be invited to your stupid wedding! BECAUSE I JUST GOT A JOB ON THE CATERING STAFF, SUCKA! See you July 19! Pray I don’t spit in your cake.”

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