Tuesday Twitter Tracker: 10 Hilarious Tweets From Parents

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It’s Tuesday and time for yet another laugh out loud edition of Twitter Tracker.

This week we see some hilarious tweets from the usual suspects and a few new faces.

A reminder!  Tweet me (@MonicaBielanko) the funniest stuff you see on Twitter so I can showcase it here next week!

This week @shanenickerson is killing it.  And I’m finding more ladies like @sarajensen, @kellyoxford and @dooce who are funny as hell.

Okay! Now then. Here are the 10 funniest tweets of the week and I promise you, you will laugh.

@shanenickerson:  Some day my kids will wear icarly shirts ironically.

@alliemackay:  Mom called to tell me she’s ok w/ me not giving her grandkids.  I said it’s ok she drinks boxed wine w/ an ice-cube.  We both lied.

@mathowie:  Today the role of “my daughter” will be played by a young actor rehearsing a Veruca Salt role in an upcoming Willy Wonka reboot.

@dooce: Night out on the town with our 7-year-old.  First, strib club.  Second, cock-fighting.  Finally, crafts.

@shanenickerson:  My god, I have a good laugh when it’s someone else’s kid making a scene.

@essdogg:  I believe, from the bottom of my heart, that children sweat potato chip crumbs.

@alittlepregnant:  Someone just found my site by Googling “stupid ass birth plan”.  Welcome!  Welcome to eight years of my blog.

@sarajensen:  4 yr olds.  Why are you doing that?  No don’t put a marker in your ear.  Don’t put a drumstick in your nose.  Like living on the set of Jackass.

@kellyoxford:  It’s not even 8 am and I’m in bed watching Barney with a 2 year old, in case you ever wondered how much bulls#!t I’d put up with.

@shanenickerson:  Every now and then, my wife and I like to go out alone to remember what life was like before kids.  We drink a lot.

 

 

 

Catch up with the Tuesday Twitter Tracker Series!

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