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Tweeting from the Womb

I’ve heard of toddlers who tweet (well, their parents do it for them) and moms who tweet during childbirth, but apparently, now even fetuses have their own Twitter feeds.

Every time your not-yet-child kicks, The Kickbee, a “fetal kick device,” will post a tweet or send a text message from a dedicated Twitter account announcing, “I kicked Mommy.”

I find the notion of a tweeting fetus creepy on various levels. First off, who really needs to know every time you get jabbed by the little one? Feeling it firsthand is one thing, but reading about a baby kicking would get boring really fast.

Secondly, I’m tired of hearing the minutiae about the babies who already exist via Twitter, Facebook and on the countless mommy blogs I follow (Little Joey pooped! Hooray!). Do we need to start the madness even before babies are born?

No wonder kids these days are so self-absorbed. One little kick and it’s big news. Next thing you know, fetuses are going to get their own reality TV shows or parents are going to brag about whose fetus has more Twitter followers.

Thirdly, fetuses can’t talk and I don’t like pretending that they can.

Finally, what if the worst should happen and you lose a pregnancy, won’t it be even more painful after your fetus has already Tweeted to friends and family?

I’m not the only one who has questions about this new device. What sort of message does it send to your child as they grow up and carve out their own niche online?

I want my child to learn how to be a responsible social sharer on his/her own and not because mommy was so eager to share every adorable move,” writes Natali del Conte, who reported about the Kickbee device for CBS News’ “Eye on Parenting.”

del Conte, who is due with her first child any day, is already wondering about how much sharing online is okay. As it is parents are posting sonogram photos on Facebook and tweeting about their kids’ potty habits. Kids aren’t supposed to be using Facebook until they’re 13. Do they need a Twitter account before they’re even born?

Shouldn’t I allow the baby to develop its own social-networking habits? Will it ever develop its own judiciousness when it comes to social networking if I default to sharing everything from the get-go? Shouldn’t I ultimately allow its bowel movements to be its own business?

del Conte raises another interesting question. How will the new generation of babies and toddlers born to mommy bloggers and “oversharing parents” behave online as they get older? I predict this will become a topic for a study in the year 2020 or so.

What do you think? Would you want your fetus to have a Twitter account?

Photo: flickr/mestreech

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