Two Men on Valentine’s Day: Am I lucky or what?
The other man who stole my heart
Six years ago, 13 years into my marriage, I fell in love with another boy. He was delicate, hungry for affection, and a bit emotional – not my usual type. Not only that, as he ages he seems to seek out and revel in the attention of other girls, thus turning me into the jealous type.
He interrupts me, curses my name when we don’t agree, and doesn’t particularly care for my cooking. His attitude can be downright embarrassing at restaurants. You know that bit of advice your mom gives you? “If he’s bossy and overbearing to wait staff, then cut him loose!” By that logic I’d have let him go long ago. He’s not even a very good tipper!
Physically, he also goes against my norm. He’s short, a bit on the skinny side, and isn’t great with the heavy lifting. The personal hygiene also leaves a bit to be desired – and he really doesn’t like it when I point that out to him.
So why do I continue to put up with him? On the plus side, he’s got a great sense of humor. He’s pretty good-looking, is frighteningly charming, and often generous with the foot rubs. He cheats at board games but will happily hand over his “Get Out of Jail Free” card if I’m in need. His affection is spontaneous and he hands me flowers by the fistful.
And when he throws those scrawny little arms around me, there is no doubt in my mind that we were made for each other.
Who is this “other man” in my life that my husband so readily tolerates? My 6-year-old son, Jack.
I grew up in a family overrun by girls – I have two sisters and a niece (who’s expecting a baby girl). Most of my cousins are girls. So it was a shock to the female-dominated family system when I announced through tears to my mother that I was having a boy.
“Well,” she paused. “It’ll be OK.”
I wasn’t so sure. A boy? What will I do with that? My middle sister, meanwhile, was excited that there would finally be someone in the family who could appreciate her marble collection.
But that dimple, the devilish sparkle in his eye and the simple joy he gets out of bodily functions make his charms pretty irresistible.
But it’s on Valentine’s Day that he often cements his place in my heart. Last year, when Jack announced out of the blue that he loves me so much that he wants to marry me, I melted like a Whitman’s sampler in the sun.
Speaking of which, having another man in my life works out pretty well around this time of year. While he has a few other “girlfriends” at school, I’m pretty sure that at least for now, I get the biggest card and fanciest box of chocolates – and hopefully, the most love.
Take that, schoolgirls!
I know someday he’ll have another woman in his life, but it’s my job for now to help forge the man who will at some point down the line become someone’s dream Valentine.
But until then, I’m a two-man woman on Valentine’s Day – just as I like it.


love this! sign me up to be the other man to my two boys.
Gotta love Jack, and love this sweet tribute. But I have doubts about your ability to let his “dream Valentine” claim him when the time comes.
This is SO spot on. Wish I’d written it as it expresses my sentiments, exactly. Thanks for finding the words to express what I feel, but have never said.
I looooove that essay. So perfect, so well said. Brilliantly expressed, Carolyn. I too, as a Mom of a 3 yr old son, am happy to have 2 Valentine’s. Couldn’t be more wonderful, I feel very lucky indeed.
Great story. Loved it and can’t wait to pass it along. Good insights on a little boy and his Mom! Hope to hear more from Carolyn in the future.
Check out this cool story Carolyn wrote!
This takes me back. I, too, held the No. 1 spot in a certain young mans heart until his affections started to wane during his pre-teen years. Now a full-fledged teenager, hes still a sweetie, but those precious, innocent early years of hugs and homemade Valentine cards made for wonderful memories.
I have a boy who turned six today (yes he was BORN on Valentines Day) so I know what you are talking about. I also have a 15 year old boy and 17 year old daughter…so much to be grateful for on this day as well as all others. You can see stories about all three of my kids, and my wife here: http://bit.ly/Good-is-good
Sweet story! You’ll always be his first “love.”
I am just starting my journey as mommyb to a boy! I, too, come from a very female-dominated family: 2 sisters, all female 1st cousins, and we all had girls except for one of us, until my little guy came along. I was totally shocked when the sonogram revealed I was actually carrying a boy! He is just so special…he definitely stole his mommy’s heart (and his big sister’s!)!! I am looking forward to my little boy moments!