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What Makes Women Feel Like They Clicked with a Date?

first date, what makes men and women click, how to have a good first dateAccording to the love experts at YourTango, there are five signs that let a woman know she connected or “clicked” with a man on date.

These signs were discovered after sociologists at Stanford examined “almost a thousand four-minute speed-dates, looking for what makes people feel like they’ve bonded with someone,” YourTango notes.

Here are some things that men do that endear them to the women they date:

  • Use appreciative language (like “good for you!”) and sympathetic language (like “that must have been tough on you”).
  • Demonstrate understanding and engagement by finishing a woman’s sentence if they feel like they know what she’s going to say.
  • Keep the conversation flowing. According to YourTango, “Asking too many questions [is] a no-no. Sounds counterintuitive, but women in the study felt disconnected when they had to ask men questions (because the conversation was lagging) or when the men asked them questions (because they had nothing else to say).”
  • Vary the volume of their speech. That makes total sense, because as conversations ebb and flow they increase and decrease in intensity, but I never would have thought that something like volume would subconsciously register with women.
  • “Finally, both men and women were in agreement that they felt like they clicked when the focal point of the conversation was the woman, and the man’s “job” was mainly to demonstrate alignment with and understanding of his date.” I totally get this. Women want to feel heard, understood and appreciated, and if a man can show that he knows how to listen and add to the dialogue on a first date, a second date is definitely in order!

It goes without saying (I hope) that these qualities should stem naturally from a man, and not be practiced robotically as a means to manipulate a date. That doesn’t mean men can’t look at this list of qualities and learn how to be better communicators, however. In the end, a genuine personality and willingness to be open and learn goes a long way for both men and women on the dating scene.

For more relationship advice, visit YourTango.

Photo credit: iStock

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