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'What to Expect When You're Expecting' Romantic Comedy in the Works

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Some books make great movies. Will this one?

When I think of the popular pregnancy book What to Expect When You’re Expecting, I think of toasted wheat germ and dessert shame — and that really bad suggestion that husbands ask their pregnant wives whether a cookie is really in the best interest of the baby.

A few Hollywood producers, however, think romantic comedy. Lionsgate has confirmed that the millions-sold pregnancy book, which brought countless pregnant women the depressing “The Best Odds Diet,” will be turned into a romantic comedy.

A movie, people. A MOVIE!

Studio representatives told Entertainment Weekly’s PopWatch that it’ll be a Love Actually/Valentine’s Day style film, weaving vignettes of pregnant couples and the nine months they’ll grow closer and — against the wishes of the author-doctors Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel — bigger together.

I’m trying to imagine the scene where, at the recommendation of the authors, a husband with a raging sweet-tooth hides in a closet to eat pie rather than spur such a dangerous craving in his wife. How subtle the restaurant scene will be — “take this away,” the big-bellied mama commands the waiter with the bread basket. “Not enough whole grains!”

PopWatch thinks Don Draper should be part of the cast. I say get Amy Poehler’s agent on the phone! PopWatch also wants Jane Lynch to be a pregnant lesbian, but me? I want her to play the confidence-undermining, diet-restricting, thigh-hating Dr. Murkoff.

Following a scandalous fried chicken dinner six months into my first pregnancy, I threw WTEWYE across the room and never looked at it again. I’ve advised friends against the restrictive and, frankly, infantalizing advice ever since.

That said: this movie? Oh yes, I’ll be there. Bucket of popcorn in one hand, jar of toasted wheat germ in the other.

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