When Reality Turns Tragic


For me, my children represent everything I’ve done right. They are my most prized possession. I dream of a life in which I could be with them every moment. I want to be there to watch all my baby’s milestones rather than being told about them, and I want to pick my older daughter up from school every day, rather than her having to stay in the after-school program. I want to witness them in all their wonder while they are still little and just as in love with me as I am with them, but the reality is I can’t. Our reality is I can’t.

As parents, we do everything in our power to ensure that our children are receiving the best care. We know that no one is capable of loving our children the way we do, and yet we strive to find someone who has the potential to even come close. We use our best judgment, but at the end of the day all we can do is hope and pray that we will always see our babies in the same way we left them.

My heart aches for the mother and father who will no longer watch their babies grow and for the sibling who will have nothing left but photos and perhaps memories of them. The murder of these two babies, allegedly by their nanny, is tragic.

I pray that these two parents will not spend a lifetime blaming themselves for this tragedy and that the child who lives, whose parent’s hearts are now broken, will not grow up and ask, why not me?

These two parents loved their children, but their reality included jobs and therefore a nanny, which I’m sure they believed was their family’s best option. A nanny who they trusted the way we parents trust our own care providers, teachers, and the other professionals who come into contact with our children each day.

Sure we could have not had children and avoided daycare altogether but we did, and come Monday many of us will be dropping our children off at daycare or school or kissing them goodbye when the nanny gets to the house. We do it because for some reason or another, we have to.

My hope is that at this time you can find it in your hearts to find compassion. This is not a time to cast judgment. You don’t know this family’s whole story. What you do know is that the loss of their two precious children has now become a part of it.



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