In October of 2004, I was lying in a hospital bed dying. I was six months pregnant with twins, one twin had died, and now I was dying too. I’d never felt so alone in my life – until my best friend came to the hospital clutching a sheaf of print outs of comments on my blog (this was prior to hospital wifi and smart phones, by the way). Over 1000 people had commented, offering me love and support. When I came home after the medical termination that ended the life of my remaining son while saving mine, I found that dozens of other women bloggers had linked to my site and shared my story.
It was amazing, it was healing, and I’m not sure I’d have survived my ensuing grief without it.
So when I see the author of the Forbes blog Pinkslipped write a piece of crap article called “Why Blogs for Women are Bad for Women” I get just a little bit steamed.
Because clearly this is someone who knows very little about women bloggers.
The reality of women bloggers is this: we are a vast community of women. There are millions of women blogging, and they are blogging about EVERYTHING. We’re blogging about politics, entrepreneurship, life, home, family, science, art, philosophy, writing – and that’s just from MY personal feed reader. The utter arrogance – and yeah, I’m gonna say it – stupidity of making a blanket statement claiming that blogs by women are bad for women is patently absurd and offensive.
The author of the post offers three “Tips” that I’d like to address.
TIP #1: They’re limiting. Blogs that focus solely on women’s issues are one-trick ponies. They don’t challenge you; they appease you. They don’t ask you to think; they tell you what you want to hear. They are an island, a fantasy; they are not the real world.
Um, what? First of all, let’s dispense with the notion that women’s blogs are solely focused on what the author calls “women’s issues.” Clearly she’s not actually reading a wide variety of women’s blogs or she would have a clue. In addition, she’s really talking specifically about FEMINIST blogs – and that, right there, showcases her shortsightedness beautifully.
Honey, I got news for you: not all “blogs for women” are feminist blogs. Not even close to a majority, either.
TIP #2: They’re hypocritical. Totally mad because some photo editor at a women’s magazine photoshopped a female celebrity’s body into unrealistic proportions? Don’t worry. Some blog for women will repost the image and explain how exposure to these images makes women feel bad about themselves. Meanwhile, they’ve reposted the image. You’ve been exposed again. The difference is … this time you know it’s wrong? Bored out of your mind as a mother? Don’t worry. A hundred of your fellow mommy bloggers will tell you that they’re bored out of their minds, too. This is how it is. At least now you can all be bored out of our minds together. Feeling alone and want to network with other women who are alone? Don’t worry. There’s a blog for women where you can network with other women who are networking with other women who are networking with you.
Oh for f**ks sake. Yes, that’s what we mommy bloggers talk about, BEING BORED (has she read a mom blog? I DOUBT IT). God forbid I visit a site dedicated to networking with other successful women! Because that won’t help me at all, since there aren’t any women out there making decisions that could impact my bottom line! As for photoshopped celebrity images, perhaps if you don’t want to be “exposed” you could choose not to click? As for me, I plan to use that information to take action in my behavior and purchasing decisions, thanks.
TIP #3: They have nothing to do with reality. If blogs for women existed in the real world, rather than a virtual one, what would they look like? Giant pink bubbles in which women floated through life, peering through the see-through pink walls at the big, bad confusing world out there in which men exist, things are complex, and not everything has to do with whether or not you have a pair of ovaries.
Right. My almost dying was totally outside the purview of reality! Wish I’d known I wasn’t in a hospital bed but was actually floating in a giant pink bubble. All the grief for nothing! Not to mention the resultant educating and advocacy I did about health care, abortion, and maternal health – oh wait! Those are just women’s issues! They don’t actually matter in the real world, just the pink bubble world.
Look, lady: we’re all here living in the real world. All of us – black, white, conservative, liberal, mommy blogger and feminist – spend each and every day living in the real world. And THAT is what we blog about. Meanwhile, I hope you continue to enjoy your awesome job writing a blog for women at ForbesWoman. Irony bites ass, no?