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Win: Female Senator in Ohio Introduces Bill to 'Help' Men Make 'Informed' Reproductive Decisions

By carolyncastiglia |

nina turner, war on women, viagra amendments, viagra laws, ultrasound before abortion, sonogram laws, ultrasound laws

Nina Turner

Oh joy, rapture! I guarantee you this will be the best story you read all week. Ohio state senator Nina Turner (D-Cleveland) announced legislation on Friday “that would protect men in Ohio from the risks of PDE-5 inhibitors, drugs commonly used to treat symptoms of impotence,” according to ProgressOhio. Turner’s legislation includes “provisions to document that the symptoms are not psychological in nature, and would guide men to make the right decision for their bodies,” they say. “Physicians would be required to obtain a second opinion from a psychological professional to verify that a patient has a true medical malady before the medication could be prescribed.”

Hahahahaha – burn! I’ll see your transvaginal ultrasound and raise it a shrinky dink check by a shrink.

Senator Turner herself says:

The men in our lives, including members of the General Assembly, generously devote time to fundamental female reproductive issues–the least we can do is return the favor. It is crucial that we take the appropriate steps to shelter vulnerable men from the potential side effects of these drugs …. By implementing more intensive screenings before prescribing the medication and requiring outpatient educational services, we can do more to prevent the potential side effects linked to PDE-5 inhibitors.

Oh my God I am in love. And get this: “The legislation follows the FDA’s recommendation that the evaluation of erectile dysfunction should include a determination of potential underlying causes and the identification of appropriate treatment following a complete medical assessment,” so Turner can’t be accused of a tit-for-tat mentality.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And by scorned I mean involuntarily probed.

Turner says, “When a man makes a crucial decision about his health and his body, he should be fully aware of the alternative options and the lifetime repercussions of that decision,” parroting the types of arguments used to promote ultrasounds required before abortion. Texas was the first state to enact a law requiring women to obtain an ultrasound before undergoing an abortion procedure, Virginia the second. Similar laws are now being proposed in Oklahoma, Alabama, Idaho and Pennsylvania.

In Illinois, State Rep. Kelly Cassidy (D), is proposing an amendment to the Ultrasound Opportunity Act (which would also require women to have an ultrasound before an abortion) that she calls the ‘Viagra Amendment.’ In fact, female politicians all over the country are fighting back against the war on women. The Huffington Post reports:

Wilmington, Del. City Councilwoman Loretta Walsh authored a resolution that declares “each ‘egg person’ and each ‘sperm person’ … equal in the eyes of the government.” Oklahoma Sen. Constance Johnson (D) proposed a “spilled semen” amendment to the state’s fetal personhood bill that would declare it an act against unborn children for men to waste sperm. Va. Sen. Janet Howell (D), meanwhile, introduced an amendment to a mandatory ultrasound bill that would require men to have a rectal exam before being prescribed Viagra.

Yes! If male politicians want us to take it up the butt, I say they should have to, too.

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About carolyncastiglia

carolyncastiglia

carolyncastiglia

Carolyn Castiglia is a New York-based comedian/writer wowing audiences with her stand-up and freestyle rap. She’s appeared in TONY, The NY Post, The Idiot’s Guide to Jokes and Life & Style. You can find Carolyn’s writing elsewhere online at MarieClaire.com and The Huffington Post. Read bio and latest posts → Read Carolyn's latest posts →

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26 thoughts on “Win: Female Senator in Ohio Introduces Bill to 'Help' Men Make 'Informed' Reproductive Decisions

  1. Manjari says:

    LOVE THIS

  2. Brandi says:

    love love love

  3. pac says:

    Yeah, this article isn’t sexist or shitty, at all. Good job on being unbiased and fair, and even delivering a modicum of knowledge and understanding. In case you weren’t aware, the invasive Virginia legislation was amended, making internal probing voluntary (NOT MANDATORY). This article is just a bunch of misguided fluff to perpetuate your state of confusion. Still, thanks for making it out like every male on the planet wants to rape you with probes, so they should receive the same punishment, I guess.

    1. carolyncastiglia says:

      PAC – I’m aware the VA legislation was amended. I’m not confused. I don’t think every male on the planet wants to rape me with probes, just the ones who want to rape me with probes. And I don’t think any man should be raped with a probe. I was joking about the rectal exam required for Viagra bit, which I do think is hilarious. I’m sorry you can’t see the humor in all of this. These women are using cheekiness (no butt pun intended) as a means of being poignant, and I think it’s brilliant.

  4. grace says:

    I don’t think this is great at all. More legislators wasting their time and my tax dollars doing nothing significant. Get out of public service if you just want to get into pi$$ing matches with each other. I want my representatives to act like statesmen (and women) and not like children.

  5. carolyncastiglia says:

    Oh, Grace – you don’t get it. She’s making a very significant point here. It’s not a waste of time at all.

  6. grace says:

    I do get it, and maybe if all her cheerleaders would stop and think about what she’s doing, they might get it too. If these female legislators think the reproductive legislation being passed by clueless men is a farce, then why are they doing EXACTLY THE SAME THING?? There are better ways to make a point than finding the lowest common denominator.

  7. carolyncastiglia says:

    I think she’s just bringing out the absurd with the absurd. That’s the language Republicans seem to understand.

  8. bunnytwenty says:

    Wait, are there seriously people objecting to this gag??? I can’t even believe you’re real.

  9. pac says:

    There is no place for cheekiness or humor in legislation. State representatives and officials are there for one purpose, and one purpose only – to conduct themselves as officials to further their constituency. Suggesting that this weak meandering and playground bickering is anything less is just asinine. This behavior is a waste of taxpayer dollars, time, and effort. Rather than fighting poisonous legislation and garnering legitimate support, this “senator” is furthering the decline of the shambolic system that the rest of the world laughs at. If you’re okay with our country being a big joke, that’s on you… continue supporting its downfall.

  10. carolyncastiglia says:

    Your opinion is that this legislation is a waste of time. My opinion is that it is subversive, illuminating genius. So we differ there.

  11. Manjari says:

    PAC, if you’re ok with being raped with probes, that’s on you. The rest of us are happy to see the constant, disgusting attempts to control women challenged, particularly when it’s done in such a clever way. We aren’t missing the point, you are. I’m guessing you’re a republican, which makes it hard for me to understand why you’re a woman.

  12. Alicia says:

    Seriously to funny and awesome at the same time. Totally agree with this!

  13. MtMama says:

    Wow. Talk about bringing out the claws. Wonder why women are discriminated against? Just read MANjari’s comment. I’m a woman, and a Republican. And I guarantee that you’re a nincompoop. No guessing needed, you made that clear.

  14. Devin says:

    I’m pro-everything-about-this.

    For those saying it’s a waste of taxpayers dollars, I would bet my own meager dollars that it doesn’t cost any more than the sitting upon thumbs that usually goes on.

    In case you haven’t noticed, actual intellectual debate and scientific proof seem to make no difference to religious bigots (and I am not specifying a specific religion, though I could probably narrow it down for you, if you need), so a fantastic handful of incredibly intelligent women are finding new ways to get their points across.

    It’s like saying the teacher is a failure because rote memorization techniques are causing her class to fail, but when she tries to include visual aid, she’s wasting educational time on games and play.

    If the point is made, we should applaud those who finally figured out how to make it!

    Not to mention, I actually agree with a lot of these amendments, if we are keeping the original women-hating ones.

  15. Jennifer says:

    I am oh so tired of this Democrat/Republican BS! We are all human beings and the party lines aren’t as black and white as the media portrays. Everyone is so busy being pissed off because the person standing next to you isn’t a cookie cutter image of yourself. Get over it! It’s America and we all have differnent opionions and unfair shit happens all the time that we have no control over.
    The bottom line is ultrasound or no ultrasound, women can still get abortions if they choose to do so.

  16. Doug says:

    “I’m guessing you’re a republican, which makes it hard for me to understand why you’re a woman.”
    Love it!!

  17. mom2four says:

    It’s not being “raped with probes” to have to see the heartbeat of the human baby you are killing before you do it. Why are liberal women so against something that could save babies. You don’t have a problem seeing where your beef comes from before you kill it. It’s just about women being posses at being reminded they are killing a living being. Selfish and disgusting. And this is a very childish and immature way to argue a point.

  18. Jess says:

    I’m ok with the legislation, just not the wording of a lot of this article. For one, I do have a major problem with insurance denying birth control pills, but covering ED medication.
    But the next time someone refers to a transvaginal ultrasound as being raped, I just might go postal. 1.) It is offensive and demeaning to anyone who has ever been a victim of an actual rape. 2.) If you tell a doctor you are uncomfortable being “probed” (and in most cases, if you are pregnant, you are ok with something going in there) they will not do it, unless you have the most horrible doctor in the universe.
    There are alternatives. And asking someone to stop and think a moment before they take a life isn’t so horrible. Abortion procedures also carry consequences to a woman’s body, and perhaps if people were more aware of these, actual birth control would come to the forefront of this ridiculous reproductive rights debate. No form of birth control is 100 % effective, I know, but there is something slightly unbelievable in the abortion rate. Condoms, pills, etc are that ineffective that we need these clinics everywhere? I think what bothers me most is that the debate has become “It’s my body, I’ll do whatever I want with it” and no one is thinking about making mature, responsible decisions when it comes to having sex in the first place. Last time I checked, condoms are readily available all over the place, and if there is a family planning clinic in town, they are available for free as well. They’ve got 98% effective rate of something similar to that.

  19. Steve says:

    If Ms. Turner really cared about reproductive equity she’d speak out against male circumcision. We should respect the genital integrity of both genders. She should also support a bill requiring the federal government to create equity when it comes to breast vs prostate cancer funding. Both diseases kill an equal number of men and women but the government spends five times as much on breast cancer research. This woman doesn’t give a shit about men’s health. She’s playing a childish and vindictive game. Its the — ‘lets see how you like it’ philosophy. This is the sorry state of modern feminism.

  20. George says:

    This is the most ignorant women in congress!! She and the President must be kept away from each other, can you imagine the kids they would dump! Whew!
    If TAXPAYER FUNDS go to buy Viagra then so be it!! Bottom line is Taxpayers should not ever pay for a man to get it up or a woman to kill her kids! Should be Murder charges if they hear a heart beat!!

  21. Patricia says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you Senator Turner! Your bill is important to men’s health and to the rights of women! You are doing the right thing by introducing this bill. You are our full support in Michigan!

  22. goddess says:

    George- got a uterus? No? Then SIT DOWN and STFU- your voice is irrelevant when it comes to women’s’ reproductive health.

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