I was 16 years old when I got my wisdom teeth removed. For some reason, my father accompanied me to the surgery instead of my mother. I guess it was because he was self-employed and could take a day off more easily than my mother could.
There are two things I remember about that surgery, and both of them are ridiculous. I remember sitting back in the dental chair and being given “laughing gas.” I remember counting backwards from ten, and then just as I was going under I remember hearing the dental surgeon say to his assistant, “Alright, nurse! Let’s harpoon this whale!” Now, did he actually say that? I have no idea. But that’s what I *heard* him say. Even more importantly, that’s what I *saw* him say. Like in my mind’s eye I can still conjure up a vision of this dude coming at me with a giant needle, mask over his mouth, eyes wide. I don’t remember if the nurse laughed or said, “Aye, aye, captain!”
The second thing I remember about getting my wisdom teeth removed is slowly coming to in the waiting room, seated on a chair under the front window next to my dad. “Kid,” he said. “They wanna know if you take sex pills.”
“What?,” I asked, groggy.
“They need to know if you take them sex pills. Birth control,” he clarified. (Only my father and Rush Limbaugh would call them sex pills.)
“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I do,” I said. It was a confession, really. I mean, my father and I hadn’t made it a habit to talk about my reproductive choices or my sex life. He didn’t say anything about it. I guess he just kinda assumed that teenage girls did that sort of thing. And at least he knew not to answer for me in case he was wrong. I don’t remember much after that until it gets to the eating-only-popsicles-and-throwing-up-for-days part that started a few hours later. But I’m so glad my parents didn’t film me doing this:
What do you think of parents who film their kids in sorry states like this? I feel like it’s one thing when they’re 3 or younger, but after that you have to have their permission, no? I mean, this video is hilarious, but it’s also kind of mean to film someone when they’re vulnerable. I’m gonna assume the teenage girl in this clip gave permission to upload it online. Let’s hope, anyway!