The term “bridezilla” might have been introduced into the lexicon long before this young woman got engaged, but surely it was just a placeholder, waiting patiently for some idiot to eventually put a ring on her finger.
The woman in question is getting married on Aug. 31, 2013. Don’t forget that date, especially if you’ve been asked to be one of her bridesmaids. In fact, don’t forget anything about her if you want to stand besides her as she exchanges vows with her betrothed. Seriously. Don’t. She might actually hurt you.
If you thought you were a bitchy bride, or if you’ve known a bitchy bride, you haven’t seen anything yet.
Take a look at some excerpts from an email that a literal bride-from-hell recently sent to her potential bridesmaids. And then duck and run when she throws the bouquet, because surely there’s a grenade hidden inside just waiting to explode all over the butt-ugly dresses you know she’ll demand be worn:
You all have a big roll* in this wedding, so before we continue I’m going to be setting some ground rules and it’s very important you read and think everything through before you accept this honor to be a bridesmaid.
If money is tight and you cant afford to contribute to say the bachelorette party or wont be able to afford a dress etc then L— and Myself don’t have time to deal with that, I’m sorry. This includes flights as well, everyone knows the states where the parties are going to be held so if you wont be able to afford a flight then that means you cant make a party which ultimately means I cant have you as a bridesmaid. Obviously we’ll get the best deals and were not gonna books flights for $1000 and shit that’s why were doing this in advance, that goes for bridesmaids dresses as well everything will be affordable but if you think by affordable its going to be a $25 forever 21 dress then your going to the wrong wedding.
If you accept this honor another thing is that you need to be available, I’m not going to harass you with wedding stuff every hour of everyday but if its something important and it takes you a week even 2-3 days to get back to me seeeee ya! I don’t have time to wait around for responses, everyone has their phone on them, it shouldn’t take you more than a day to get back to me, even if your out of the country, check your email!
If you don’t think you’ll be able to attend one party but can make the rest of them I’m sorry but I’ll have to take you out as a bridesmaid and put you as a guest.
To read the letter in its entirety, head on over to Gawker.com.
*All spelling and grammar errors are the bride’s.
Photo credit: iStock
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