Bad Parent: They’re on Their Own
Why I'm not paying for my kids' college.
by Meagan Francis
July 13, 2009
And philosophically, I'm not on board with the whole idea of making the transition to "real life" so easy on young folk. It's like we've come to expect that young adults shouldn't have to struggle. What about the time-honored tradition of sitting on milk
crates, eating crappy food and checking out movies from the library for entertainment? Isn't that struggle in itself valuable to growth?
Besides, if we're looking at a college degree purely as an economic investment, we may want to think again. In a
recent New York Times article, Matthew B. Crawford, author of the new book
Shop Class as Soulcraft, writes: "There is a pervasive anxiety among parents that there is only one track to success for their children . . . A gifted young person who chooses to become a mechanic rather than to accumulate academic credentials
is viewed as eccentric, if not self-destructive." But in the current economy, Crawford argues that the trades may be especially in demand — a worker in India, after all, can't fix your car over the Internet. "If the goal is to earn a living, then, maybe it
isn't really true that eighteen-year-olds need to be imparted with a sense of panic about getting into college (though they certainly need to learn)," he writes.
Do I want my kids to have a better life? Depends what you mean by "better."Maybe traveling for a year or two and then apprenticing to become a plumber would prove to be a more horizon-broadening and financially rewarding choice than studying to become, say, a sociologist. Or an investment banker, for that matter.
Of course, that would require some of us to put our pride aside and accept a career in the trades as befitting our precious offspring. I'm reminded of a conversation a friend of mine overheard between two parents at a school function in a wealthy suburb
of Chicago. One of the mothers was complaining to the other that her daughter, who'd graduated the year before from a prestigious public high school, had decided to attend a two-year vocational program to become a paralegal. "It would be less embarrassing
if she had a drug problem," the mother confided. Thanks, Mom.
Do I want my kids to have a better life than me? Depends what you mean by "better." I want them to learn how to be self-sufficient and responsible. I want them to find a career that both puts food on the table and feeds their souls. I want them to be loving,
kind, generous, compassionate, and down-to-earth. I believe they can get there whether they have a Ph.D or a GED; whether they have student loan or zero debt; whether they work with their hands or pursue academia. How they get there is up to them, and I believe
they're bright, creative, and resourceful enough to figure it out.
In their adult lives, my kids will struggle. They will fail. They will also succeed. I will love them and encourage them when they do either.
But I'll keep my money. I've earned it. How to earn theirs? Well, that's up to them.
About the Author
|
|
Related Articles
|
|
Meagan Francis is a mom of five and author in Michigan. She blogs about being a happier mom while keeping it real at thehappiestmom.com and about writing, life and other pursuits at meaganfrancis.com. |
|
|
-
by Babble Editors
Expert advice for panic-free saving.
-
by Brett Berk
Three families, three classes, one financial crisis.
-
by Susan Gregory Thomas
Did Generation X’s nesting mania spark the economic meltdown?
|
