Remember how you would vacuum your floors all the time because ohmigosh the baby will be touching it? Now try having the energy to vacuum even once a week. Besides, what's the point of picking up all that clutter when it just comes right back in the morning?
Maybe I’m just the “gross mom” here. With our oldest, a nightly bath was part of our bedtime routine where we’d lovingly take the time to wash her, give her an infant massage and read books. Meanwhile her sibling is on the same bathing schedule that I am—a few times a week. Don’t judge.
After hearing all the “breast is best” talk during my first pregnancy, when Baby No. 1 arrived I decided formula would have no place in our lives. And the days when I couldn’t pump enough and was forced to give her a few ounces of that evil formula were dark indeed. Baby No. 2? Not so much drama. Mama going out for the night and don’t want to pump? Hey, here’s some formula, bon appétit child! Less stress, less mess.
With the first kid, you sanitize everything over and over again. Waiting for that pot of water to boil became a weekly—if not daily—routine in the early months. Who has time for that anymore with a second child? No. 2 is lucky to get her pacifier run under hot water every now and then. Germs no longer equal evil. Germs equal stronger immune systems.
Don't get me wrong, it's still special and awesome the first time No. 2 smiles, rolls over and the like, but if you ask me to recall how old she was when she did any of that, my mind will draw a blank. With my oldest I could tell you the exact week it happened, but second children get mommy brain TIMES TWO, so she'll be lucky if I remember the month they occurred.
With my oldest, we were big on routines and figuring out her schedule. It got to the point where I was always racing back home for naptime. Her younger sister, on the other hand, has been forced to go with the flow and sleep in her car seat a lot as we shuttle the older one from place to place.
Admittedly, I sucked at tummy time with my oldest too—and she still sat up, rolled over and all that jazz. But now I REALLY suck at tummy time with my second. Who has time to spend 10 minutes on the floor when there’s a toddler to entertain, dogs to feed, and a house begging to be cleaned?
With my first, everyday was a mini fashion show as I raced to get her into each of her tiny outfits at least once before she grew out of them. Sadly, No. 2 has been wearing the same pajamas for two days straight as I write this. But she still looks really cute!
Moms with more than one kid who can establish a bedtime routine for the second one in the early months, I bow down to you. I don’t even know what Baby No. 2’s bedtime is, and for us to add her own routine into the daily evening chaos that is feeding and getting the toddler to bed? Forget about it. She’s lucky if we change her diaper and give her a pacifier.
You'll always worry about all your children, but the intensity of concern exponentially decreases with each child. Regular vs. organic crib mattresses, SIDS, wait, don't let her get used to sleeping in the swing, is she sleeping too much? Too little? These are all thoughts of first time parents. With the second you simply don't have time to worry about these minute details, it's just survival mode. That, and you've already done it once before and learned that, in the end, everything turns out A-OK.
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