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Snoop Dogg Busted By, Well, A Snooping Dog

Dear Snoop Dogg:

Seriously? You flew into an international airport in Oslo with eight grams of marijuana?

DUDE.

I’ve always liked you and your laid back style of rap and your silly hair and your too tall and lanky body. Hell, I’ve even enjoyed your acting.

But you’ve NEVER made any secret of your love for weed. Surely you have to know that would make you a target wherever you go, no matter how much the official “deny” knowing “who you are” when the drug-sniffing dog picked you out all random-like.

I mean, COME ON.

If I had your cash I’d arrange for someone local to hook me up with the weed rather than fly with it and have to take it through customs. It’s like you WANTED to get busted. I dunno, maybe you did I sure haven’t seen much of you in the news lately. And after all, the headlines ALONE about a DOG busting SNOOP DOGG are too delicious to ignore.

I am happy to hear, however, that you were nice while you were being arrested. A local newspaper  article claimed that custom officials “tell of a polite star who did what he was asked. He acted without any prima donna whims, and was nice.”

Snoop may I call you Snoop? I’m sad to hear that you were fined 5,000 kroners for the pot. Even sadder about the 82,000 kroner you were fined for carrying too much cash. You’ve heard of banks, right? Maybe give that a try next time?

Well, good luck dealing with the headlines and the news. I’m sure you’ll focus on less illegal means of making headlines in the future, yes?

And don’t be too friendly to those drug sniffing dogs. Not a good choice for you, my friend.

Sincerely,

Cecily

 

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