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10 Names I Will NOT Be Naming My Baby

Naming a baby is hard. Well, it’s hard for me. Some people have baby names picked out from the moment they hit childbearing age and can confidently write their favorite name on the dotted line without a hint of hesitation. I, on the other hand, am floundering in a fog of pregnancy brain, hoping a name or two will emerge from the pea soup in my head and sound good enough to be added to The List.

To complicate matters, we don’t yet know the gender of the baby so we have the entire universe of names to deal with. And my husband, while very good at vetoing name suggestions, is not very good at coming up with any. Our 4-year-old is VERY good at suggesting names but Otter, Hooter, and Consterno are not under serious consideration.  Those are all boys names, by the way. Our son refuses to consider the possibility that the baby is a girl.

Anyway, in order to try and come up with a few workable options, I went begging for name books from my friends and the local library. I now have a nice stack of them that I peruse in the evenings, occasionally saying a random name out loud and confusing my husband, whose attention is usually trained on a basketball game and not his wife’s frantic search for a moniker for our offspring. This is probably why he’s generally less tense than I am.

If these books have shown me anything, it’s that the slate of possible names is way broader than I originally though. And that many things that shouldn’t be names – at least not for people – are considered valid options. Here are a few names that were in books but will NOT be on the birth certificate of my child when the time comes.

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Sources: Cool Names for Babies by Pamela Redmond Satran and Linda Rosenkrantz, Beyond Jennifer and Jason, Madison and Montana by Pamela Redmond Satran and Linda Rosenkrantz, The Baby Name Bible by Pamela Redmond Satran and Linda Rosenkrantz, The Big Book of 60,000 Baby Names by Diane Stafford

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Sources: Cool Names for Babies by Pamela Redmond Satran and Linda Rosenkrantz, Beyond Jennifer and Jason, Madison and Montana by Pamela Redmond Satran and Linda Rosenkrantz, The Baby Name Bible by Pamela Redmond Satran and Linda Rosenkrantz, The Big Book of 60,000 Baby Names by Diane Stafford

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