It’s hard to believe that it’s almost three months since my twins died. I miss them desperately at times. I miss being their safe haven for growth. I miss feeling them move. I miss singing to them every morning. I miss being excited to meet them in X-amount of time. The loss was sudden and completely unexpected.
When my water broke at 17 weeks, everyone was shocked. My pregnancy had been picture perfect. And when my twins died hours later, I was devastated.
When you experience a tragedy like this, it’s hard not to question everything. It’s hard not to remain in a darkness that pulls you toward feelings of bitterness, anger, helplessness, and self-loathing. It’s hard to see the good in anything.
But you must.
This post was an exercise for me to focus on something other than the utter horror behind losing my twins. What I found was that I have learned some pretty positive life lessons since my twins died.
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Read more of Aela’s writing at Two Moms Make a Right.
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