It’s been a difficult month for me, friends. When it comes to infertility, that seems to be the case.
It’s been 11 months now and I just finished my 3rd round of Clomid. I’m on a double dose now and we’re still waiting for any signs that the medication is working; waiting for our hopes to come true and then waiting some more.
I never imagined that I would have trouble getting pregnant. When we first began trying, I was convinced it would take no more than 3 months since that’s what happened while we were conceiving our other children. I guess no one really imagines that they would have trouble doing what should come naturally and there’s not really a lot you can do to prepare yourself ahead of time either.
In these past 11 months I have learned some things about myself, my marriage, my friends, and infertility in general that I may not have learned if I wasn’t on this journey.
Click through to read 10 things I’ve learned through infertility:
nggallery template=’carousel’ id=’128585′
Sometimes You Need to Cry 1 of 10I am not an emotional person really, but there are times during this that I just needed to cry. Allowing myself that release is important.
Photo credit: Maria Keays/Flickr
Baby Fever Aches are Real 2 of 10I throw around the term baby fever for anyone wanting a baby, but there is a point where that fever turns into the baby flu and it physically hurts.
Photo credit: rfduck/Flickr
Pregnancy Announcements Hurt 3 of 10You notice them more and they can hurt you to the core. You question why you're upset, why you feel the way you do and why you're not making that announcement yet.
Photo credit: Chris Hunkeler/Flickr
Hard Not to Blame 4 of 10It can be hard not to blame yourself and your body. I have struggled with this a lot lately and it is a strange place to be in.
Photo credit: Ken Shoufer/Flickr
Isolating 5 of 10I have learned that the infertility journey can be very isolating. There's a lot of guilt for what normal feelings are going through your head, yet you don't think anyone could understand.
Photo credit: Dicemanic/Flickr
Girlfriends Are Your Rock 6 of 10I would not be sane if it wasn't for my girlfriends who listen to me -- the crazy talk and all with no judgement. It's important to allow those feelings to come out and if it wasn't for Lindsey and Lori, I'd be lost.
Photo credit: Valerie Everett/Flickr
Things Can’t Be Explained 7 of 10As much as I want to know WHY I have to struggle with this on top of struggling with keeping a pregnancy, some things just can't be explained. As someone who likes to find rhyme and reason for things, it's a hard pill to swallow.
Photo credit: infowidget/Flickr
Good Days and Bad Days 8 of 10Like today for example I am having a bad day. I vented, I cried, I moped and that's okay. There will be a good day again where I am hopeful, but learning that both are ok to experience is good.
Photo credit: Marcus Jeffrey/Flickr
Your Spirit is Tested 9 of 10The struggle with this physical-feeling need for a child and wanting to "give up" because the struggle is hard will test your spirit. I've learned that I am stronger than I ever though and can make it through anything.
Photo credit: chris.corwin/Flickr
Willing Yet Helpless 10 of 10I have this big need to do anything and everything to help this go along smoother, but I just feel so helpless. There isn't much I can do and that feeling is totally awful.
Photo credit: Jeremy Vandel/Flickr
Photo credit: adapted from iStockphoto