As much as I want to pretend like it isn’t true, Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching. In our house it’s a bit of a double whammy because my husband’s birthday is the next day, but even without that, I always struggle with pressure to find a gift that is meaningful and conveys some percentage of my love for my husband. Add to the fact that he is a really awesome gift giver, and well, the pressure to perform (though totally created in my head), is high.
That said, this year, I think his challenge is greater, because pregnancy gift giving can be a little like a field full of land mines. Now, barring something horribly offensive, I would never turn down or be anything but grateful for a gift, but there are just some things that you should never buy a pregnant women, either for the implication of the gift or for the fact that it is just so not something she needs at this point in her life.
So men, please, think these things through. For your sake and hers, avoid these 10 gifts if your better half is pregnant.
Skimpy Lingerie 1 of 10I'm not a lingerie lover in the first place, but I cannot imagine wanting to parade my girth in anything skimpy or lacy right now. Though I'm pretty sure my boobs will never look better than they do now, unless your girl is really into this kind of stuff, stay away from the lacy lingerie. She'd probably rather have cozy sweats.
Photo and lingerie from Babies n Bellies.
Giant Maternity Underwear 2 of 10These seem like another way to get your wife something "intimate" but sorry, there's nothing intimate about underwear the size of Jupiter. I'd like to pretend like my husband doesn't even know what my underwear look like right now, even though I largely refuse to wear anything but my pre-pregnancy underwear. It's still not a pretty sight.
Photo and underwear available at Big Girl Bras.
Anything for the Baby 3 of 10Yes, there are a million adorable baby things that I want, but I do not want any of them for Valentine's Day. The baby is going to get showered by all our friends in the next few months, please make this holiday about me. Unless you want to buy me a doula...
Manhattan Toy Whoozit available at Amazon.
Anything for Breastfeeding 4 of 10Yes, I will absolutely need some new bras soon, and yes, many of them are quite nice, but let's not celebrate the most romantic night of the year by reminding me that my boobs are about to become a feeding station.
Lashinoh Soothies Breast Pads available at Amazon.
A New Pet 5 of 10Look, I love kittens more than is even close to reasonable, but no matter how much your wife or girlfriend loves animals, this is not the time for a new pet. I literally had a nightmare several weeks ago about trying to raise a baby and a kitten at the same time because that would be madness. At this point, keeping myself clean and fed is about all I can manage, I can only add a baby OR a pet, take your pick. Unless the new pet has opposable thumbs and can change diapers, that is.
A Nice Bottle of Wine 6 of 10Because that's like giving wine to an alcoholic. Yes, we would desperately love to drink it, but we're trying to keep your child safe. Same goes for bottles of tequila, rum or any other delicious drink mixer that we can't have because we are GESTATING YOUR CHILD.
An Exercise DVD 7 of 10You know what, how about just never buy a woman a workout dvd for any holiday. Pregnant or not because there is nothing not offensive about this.
Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred is available at Amazon. Or on my DVD shelf, because every time I do it, I want to stab someone. Usually Jillian.
Goal Clothes 8 of 10Though the idea of getting your wife something nice to wear after the baby comes is good in theory, the pressure to be able to fit into them any time in the relatively near future is not so much. If you must buy clothes, go with a maternity outfit or get a gift card.
This adorable dress is available for all you non-pregnant women at Ann Taylor Loft. Wear it well, for me.
Gift Card for Bikini Wax 9 of 10No matter how much difficulty your partner has grooming her nether regions, do not buy this. Not only should you never imply that things need to be more well kept, but also, bikini waxes while pregnant hurt like crazy, or so I've been told. Because no way is a stranger getting access to anything in that area anytime soon.
Surgi-Wax Brazilian Waxing Kit for Private Parts available at Amazon. Ouch.
Home Pedicure Kit 10 of 10Though a set with pumice stone, good foot lotions, files and lotions sound like a nice way for your wife or girlfriend to pamper herself (truly, they do), unless you plan to be the one giving her the pedicure, skip this during pregnancy. I can see my toes while standing, but I cannot easily reach them, especially not without making lots of breathless grunting noises. And that's about as cute as the giant underwear.
Soothing Foot Scrub available at Bath and Body Works.
What other gifts should you never give a pregnant woman?
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