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12 New Year's Resolutions For Da Moms

OK, so this is more like a wish list than a set of resolutions. Or at least they are resolutions, but for all of us to get behind. Maybe I’m being a bit pushy, but let’s face it, progress was never made without an agenda and a nudge. So here’s what I’d like to see happen in 2011.

1.  Instead of ten million more articles about things pregnant women should avoid, new laws will be passed to regulate toxins in our cosmetics, water and food.

2. What To Expect When You’re Expecting will fall off the best-seller list, replaced by a less alarmist book with a cover that does not feature a catatonic mother in a sea of pastel quilt squares.

3. Some genius will find a remedy for morning sickness.

4. Home birth activists and Dr. Amy will call a truce and try to figure out how to help the many women who just want a decent birth experience in a hospital setting.

5. American women will find a wonderful middle-ground between anorexia and morbid obesity. Our culture will suddenly support us to eat and celebrate good, real food with gusto and appetite rather than caution and suspicion. Junk food will suddenly become illegal and/or prohibitively expensive and real food will be made affordable to everyone.

6. Maternity leave options will vastly improve, making it possible for women to be able to choose both nurturing their young babies and contributing to the workforce.

7. Midwives will handle many more births and obstetricians will gladly support them. Insurance will cover it all.

8. Birthing tubs will be required in all labor and delivery rooms to bring more pain relief to women and reduce reliance on medications.

9. All laboring women will be given the option of a doula.

10.  There will be a massive trend in recycling all baby gear so that it becomes super cool to be wheeling a revamped, thrice-handed down, creatively refurbished Maclaren down the sidewalk.

11. The c-section rate will plummet to 15%.

13. At least one very famous celebrity mother will show off her post-baby body at six weeks and she’ll have an awesomely round belly, a couple of big droopy knockers and an actual ass.

Do you think we call pull all of this off ? Why not? Feel free to add your own ideas and don’t hold back. Now is the time to be ambitious! We’ve got nothing to lose but a failing maternity care system and a bunch of useless sea bands.

Happy New Year.

photo: Waldo Jaquith/flickr

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