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12 Things I Wish I'd Known About Infertility Before I Faced It Myself

By Devan McGuinness |

12 Things I Wish I'd Known About Infertility Before Facing ItI am not having the best month. This whole getting pregnant thing is not working out the way that I had hoped, the way it has in the past, and it can be hard to feel positive about the future.

I am waiting now, as seems to be the case with infertility. I have shared my feelings about waiting before and I think it’s the one aspect of infertility that I struggle with the most. I don’t know how or if things will work out and I have the type of personality that likes to be in control.

I never thought I would be battling infertility to such a strong degree. I am well-versed in the struggle of staying pregnant, but now there is the fear that I may not even get pregnant. It’s not easy.

There are some things I wish I had known about infertility before I had to face it myself. It’s one of those situations though, where we find ourselves not really thinking that it will ever happen to us. Not personally.

Click through to read 12 things that I wish I had known about infertility before I faced it myself:

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What I Wish I Knew About Infertility

There's No "One-Sized" Solution

What worked for one person may not work for you and it can take months to find something that is best for your situation. Adding to the frustration, what worked for you last time may not work this time either.
Photo credit: Photostock

Photo credit: adapted from iStockPhoto

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Want more? Find me on Being Pregnant | Babble Kids | Babble Pets

More from Devan:

10 Things You Shouldn’t Do When Your Partner is Pregnant
 7 Different Types of Pregnant Women

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5 ways I screw up in my marriage every day
25 powerful photos of women giving birth
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About Devan McGuinness

devanmcguinness

Devan McGuinness

Devan McGuinness is the writer of the lifestyle blog Accustomed Chaos. After surviving 12 miscarriages, Devan founded Unspoken Grief, a resource and support site for perinatal and neonatal loss. Read bio and latest posts → Read Devan's latest posts →

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7 thoughts on “12 Things I Wish I'd Known About Infertility Before I Faced It Myself

  1. jessica ann conley says:

    we had two miscarriages, followed by a live birth, followed by a miscarriage, followed by almost two years of trying with no pregnancy. I experienced all of these, and more. the blame game…most definitely, self directed blame. crumpled on the kitchen floor cleaning up my third broken thermometer in a week, feeling like my insides were dying and that I was going completely crazy, b/c who can chart when they can’t even figure out a fucking thermometer? finally, for our mental health, we gave up. I love my daughter with every fiber of my being. but my heart aches every day. I can’t be around pregnant women. I can’t walk through the baby section at my store without it affecting my mood. it is hard. even when you’re “done trying.”

  2. Kim says:

    Our daughter was a surprise; we were only four months into our relationship when I got pregnant. When she was 3 1/2, we decided to try for another. We thought it would be easy, since DD was unplanned. I went off the pill thinking I was Fertile Myrtle. Wrong! It took almost eight years and a career change on my part before we finally had a successful pregnancy. Our daughter and son are now 11 years apart. She sometimes wishes she had a sibling closer together in age and is more like a third parent to her brother.
    I’ve had many nights of crying, blaming myself, etc. for being broken and only able to successfully have one kid. We both had the fertility work-up, only to show that everything was fine. I think it was the stress of my previous career that prevented it from happening. Good luck!

  3. Caroline @ crackers & carrots says:

    Such wonderful advice. Those are all of the things that I struggled so hard with before I got pregnant after lots of time, lots of shots and medical help. Thank you for sharing these to those who are still struggling. My son is currently 5 months old and I still don’t know if I’ll be able to conceive again. I had no idea that it would be so difficult to get pregnant. I wish you all the best. Don’t give up and keep your head high. We’re here with you!

    http://chocolateandcarrots.com/crackersandcarrots

  4. Jenni says:

    All of these things are true about those who have to deal with infertility, but I am not sure that I see why knowing about them in advance would have helped. You deal with what you have to deal with when the time comes, make the best decisions that you can under the circumstances, and keep the dream alive the best way you know how. What helps the most, I feel is knowing that you are not alone. There are others who have been there before you and those who will face infertility in their futures. Finding that connection with others who share your fate is the best way to stay sane throughout it all.

  5. Dr. Linda Restrepo says:

    Watch this informative source about infertility
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsQ7Odm_HCc

  6. Ms. Future PharmD says:

    The most useful thing for us when we got diagnosed as infertile, aside from connecting with the ALI (adoption, loss, and infertility) community, was to talk about how far we’d go and how much we’d spend on treatments, and if we’d consider adoption and what sorts of adoption (baby only or kid, foster care or international, trans-racial or not). Sometimes I think it’s easy to get rushed into treatments without understanding it all and to continue perhaps longer than you intend because the doctors encourage you, but I think it’s valuable to consider what happens if it doesn’t work too (knowing you can change your mind later).

  7. Dorothy says:

    I am 57 yrs old and was never able to have children. I didnt have much help though because back when I was trying, drs didnt believe in helping you if you werent married. The drs were demeaning and hostile saying to me that they could not morally help me, it was against their morals. Today, drs would not get away with this.

    Everyday I blame myself and want the question answered as to why I was never blessed with children,

    Even if you only have one child, its better than none!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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