Babble’s Five-Minute Time Out: 16 and Pregnant
One of the shows teen moms on how shes managing.
Pregnancy
Bristol Palin. Juno. Jamie Lynn Spears. Teen pregnancy is an American obsession, and MTV’s new series 16 and Pregnant is satisfying our voyeuristic tendencies with a documentary-style approach to the lives of teen girls, their pregnancies and the aftermath (you know, the baby).
Babble sat down with one of the show’s teen moms, Ebony Jackson, who had daughter Jocelyn at seventeen. The Colorado teen, who has since turned eighteen, chatted frankly about the new ABCs: abstinence, birth control and finding a way to go to college. – Jeanne Sager
Can you tell our readers a little bit about your situation?
Well, I’m a senior in high school and I have a two-month-old little girl now. I first found out I was pregnant at the very beginning of my senior year, so it kind of caught me by surprise. Adoption and abortion were never an option for me, just because I couldn’t go through something for nine, ten months and then have to hand the baby over to somebody else.
When you got pregnant, was this with a steady boyfriend?
We were dating for about ten months when we found out that I was pregnant. He was really steady, and we were already talking about marriage even before she came along.
So what’s happened since?
We got married on June 25th.
Congratulations.
Thank you. Josh is now going into the Air Force sometime in August. He’ll be leaving us for basic and tech school; he’ll be gone for close to a year.
What are you going to be doing in that time?
I’ll be going to college here in the fall. I’ll be getting my associate’s degree.
Did you get to finish your senior year?
I didn’t finish it. My doctor didn’t let me go back after she was born, because it was so close to the end of the school year and they didn’t want me stressing out. I was down four credits, and you’re only allowed to be down two in order to graduate. What they’re doing for me is I don’t have to go back next year. Instead I’m going to be going to college and taking my high school credits along with my college credits.
It sounds like you’ve got a lot figured out; did you ever expect to be in this position?
No, I really didn’t. I wasn’t expecting to have a kid this early. I was the farthest one that you could see being a mommy. I used to babysit and I had to deal with a four-year-old all the time, and I really didn’t like kids! I could deal with them, but I couldn’t see myself having one . . . until I started thinking about adoption and reading all the adoption stories and wanting to become a nurse. It kind of changed my views about it. When I was younger I couldn’t see myself being a mother, but now I am a really good mother – so my mom tells me.
Was it tough talking to your mom when you first found out you were pregnant?
No, she actually thought that she was pregnant first! We’re the only two in the house, so our cycles kind of bounce off of each other. It kind of threw off the hormones of the entire household when I got pregnant.
So what was her reaction when you actually broke down and said “Hey, mom . . .”?
She asked what I was going to do, and I said “I’m going to keep it,” and she said, “Well, if that’s what you want to do, that’s your choice, and I’ll help you any way that you can.” She wasn’t really as harsh as I thought she was going to be.
Were you scared to tell her?
I was a little afraid to tell her, but I knew I could talk to her about anything. She’s like my best friend.
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About the Author
Jeanne Sager is a freelance writer and photographer living in upstate New York with her husband and daughter, Jillian. She maintains a blog of her award-winning columns at jeannesager.blogspot.com.
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9 thoughts on “Babble’s Five-Minute Time Out: 16 and Pregnant”
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I like this girl, especially what she says about both partners being responsible for contraception (a nice counterpoint to that dad article a few weeks ago, in which he blames his fatherhood on his then-girlfriend because she was too forgetful about the pill). A couple of thoughts: It’s commendable that Planned Parenthood gave her parenting and life skills classes and gave her a crib – that’s definitely living up to the organization’s name. It’s great that this young husband is getting a career, but so very sad that to do so he has to give up a year of his child’s life, even though this is reality for so many military families. But it’s kind of awful that she seems to have such a negative view of adoption. I wonder if it is based purely on stories of the old-style closed adoptions?Also, Babble, these roll over ads on the right side of the page like this Honey Bunches of Oats one make it almost impossible for people to comment. Too many more of these and I’ll be giving up.
I think when your mother is your best friend and you are the only 2 in the household it says a lot about what your future is going to be. Why do so many Mom’s want to be “friends” and not parents?
I’ve watched a few episodes with my oldest Mesa-13. The show always shows things working out.
If Mesa got pregnant, of course I wouldn’t put her out or beat the hell out of her (although I would be tempted to do so, lol) but I would be devastated. Kids aren’t fun. It isn’t ooh, and ahh when you’re young like that.
Luckily, we have the resources to take care of Mesa if she was to get knocked up. She would be required to FINISH high school and go to college. The worst thing would be for her to have to settle in life because she made a stupid mistake like having sex with some rock-head boy who can’t buy you a combo at Jack In The Box.
I tell her now that sex is 99.99% boring and meaningless as a teen (which is the truth). You don’t want to give away your goods to someone you’ve dated for a semester or two. Hell, in high school, you’re together one year, you come back from Summer break and he’s holding hands with some other girl! Didn’t even bother to text you at the very least. Is THAT who you want to have sex with???
I tell her that if a guy dumps you because you WON’T have sex, then he didn’t like YOU in the first place. He just wanted to get his rocks off.
I teach her about contraceptives too. We’ve had the talk. The REAL talk.
I’m not telling her to wait until marriage or wear some BS promise ring to please my husband and I. I just want her to be able to handle what comes with sex. Baby. STDs. Emotional Damage (you know, girls having sex to KEEP the guy around).
Needless to say, we don’t watch the show anymore. You kinda smell the generic happy ending.
They need to show the girl’s parents being angry to the point where they put her out. Show the boyfriend saying it’s not his, subsequently having everyone at school call you a sl*t. Show the girl’s church members turning their noses up at her. Show the girl having to get on welfare and having her baby, not at the nice hospital, the county hospitals where they don’t check on you during labor. Show the girl having to drop out of school completely because she has to find some kind of work so she can “get off of welfare”. Show her filling out WIC coupons and holding everyone up at the grocery store JUST so her kid can have milk. Show the baby having colic or diarrhea….and using up ALL the diapers she has….and her next county check doesn’t come for another 2 days. Now she’s gotta beg someone for diaper money.
Show ALL of that.
Maybe not in one episode. But show these girls that your cute little boyfriend may not be there for you or the baby. Maybe mom and dad won’t be there. You school friends don’t always swoon over your belly.
Being a teen and pregnant is becoming more common, sure. But that crap ISN’T cute.
I do think that this interview makes the situation look a little too sunny, and it sounds like, from Zicea’s description, the show made it look a little too sunny too. I mean, it doesn’t sound like having a kid destroyed this girl’s life – but it does a lot more damage to the lives of a lot of other girls, and those girls aren’t the ones they’re showing on TV.
Right now, our culture is totally glorifying teen pregnancy (I mean, come on! Bristol Palin said that her baby was the best thing that ever happened to her, while preaching abstinence!), and I don’t think this trend is particularly helpful to teen girls. Most of the girls having babies right now aren’t going to wind up with as happy an ending as the girl interviewed here.
Well, I tried to post a comment earlier. It included the statement that I thought Planned Parenthood should be commended for providing parenting and life skills classes and a crib to this young mother, and that that was living up to the organization’s name.
The thought of being so angry you’d be tempted to beat the hell out of your daughter is just HILARIOUS. LOL indeed.
Nice to see Planned Parenthood being discussed as a place for pregnant teens and young moms to get support instead of being stereotyped as just an abortion clinic. PP offers all kinds of wonderful services.
I read this article and it hit close to home. I was not a teen mom, but I did get unexpectedly pregnant in college. Parents really need to think about what their response may be in this situation. When I told my mom her first response after cursing at me was to offer to give me an accident. She did not even think to ask what my plan was.
Hi Ebony
We live very near the air base in jacksonville. My daughter is almost 18 and has a 7 month old i would love the two of you to meet!! she is thinking about going into the military.
you can inbox me on my facebook. please-we are like 5 minutes from you.