5 Answers to Pregnancy Related Questions That Really Annoy My Wife
When answering pregnancy-related questions, I often drive my wife nuts.
So, all things considered, this has been a pretty mellow pregnancy as far as public curiosity goes. Don’t get me wrong, Caroline will get the occasional “Oh, you must be pregnant,” comment here and there, but it’s nothing like before. We both believe it’s because whenever we’re out, we’re normally with our loud crew. And, quite frankly, the true curiosity isn’t what’s inside her belly. It’s the three 3-year-olds who were once inside her belly.
In fact, just this past weekend, Caroline was asked several questions about the triplets, but not a one about the (by-now) obvious child that she’s been carrying for the past 21 weeks. Which is probably a good thing — at least as far as I’m concerned. Because I proved last time that the answers I come up with tend to embarrass, if not annoy Caroline. Especially these 5:
But before I get to them, please allow me to plead my case. When your wife is carrying triplets, word spreads fast. And you don’t just get the occasional person asking about the pregnancy. You get dozens and dozens of folks asking about the pregnancy. And they all ask the same question, or at least some derivation thereof: “Triplets? How’d that happen?”
Now, I, for one, think it’s fairly obvious how pregnancies happen and would never think to ask such a question. But I suppose that the unusual circumstance of triplets prompts a general sense of wonder which manifests itself with that particular question. Because that’s the one we fielded over and over again. And at some point, I decided to have fun with it by offering up answers that I thought were extremely entertaining.
Only Caroline didn’t find them entertaining. She found them annoying. Particularly these 5:
Triplets? How’d that happen?
- 1. Wait. Do you want us to show you, or just draw a you a picture.
- 2. Any joke equating my sperm to Michael Phelps.
- 3. I’d think that woulda been pretty obvious to you. I’m remarkably virile.
- 4. We’re big on under-promising and over-delivering. We set a stretch goal and nailed it.
- 5. My wife’s so pretty I had to get her pregnant three times.
So, again, I suppose it’s a good thing we’re not getting that many questions this time. Because I’m not sure I could have as much fun with the answers as I did when Caroline was pregnant with triplets.
Besides, I’m not sure our marriage could survive them.
Your first response is by far the funniest and the quickest shutter upper!
@weaselmomma HA
@Meghan — i think that question is really what is at the heart of “how’d that happen?” don’t you?
@TripsRightDad — amen, brother. we need to “catch up.” how are you and your crew, my man?
I have to admit. My first question (in my head, though! Not out loud) when people have/are expecting multiples is whether they were on fertility drugs, or had IVF, or whether it was natural. I know it’s no one’s business, really, but with all the documentaries and TLC shows about multiple births these days, you have to admit that it must be the FIRST thing that springs to people’s minds. Just sayin’,
@Meghan- I can appreciate the thought that runs through your head and just wants to says thank you for keeping it to yourself and not joining the masses and just blurting it out. We have had that question (IVF or meds) several dozen times over the last two years. I have practiced and mastered the look I give people to tell them they have crossed the line then follow it up with an invasive question of my own and that usually drives them away pretty quick. The wife usually gets red faced but I love it when they tuck tail and walk away.
Sorry for the grammar errors, predictive text…and they call them “smart” phones
We have been good. A few days of nice weather and the kids are itching to get outside again..Only a month til the huge 2nd birthday bash. It’s such a big event that it can’t be contained in one day. We are hosting two parties, the first with “friends”. Other high order multiple families with kids around our age group (8 families 33 kids) then the family (smaller) party on day two. Hope all is well, and from the tones of the posts it sounds like they are…
John, congratulations to you and your lovely wife! I’m not too far from you, just a half hour up the road from Knoxville. I just found your articles tonight, and you tickle me, had me laughing out loud in my office. I hope you and your family have a wonderful spring! Hehe..when I was reading your list, I got a mental picture for #3…you standing tall, shoulders back, head turned to the side…something like Superman. Or should that be Superspermman?
@Anniebunny — HELLO! i love me some East TN folk. Superspermman made me LOL, my dear. are you a bball fan? how bout this whole B Pearl thing? KILLING ME. though i totally understand the situation. i’m just all sad about it. you know? thank you so much for your nice comment. it made my day!
lol these remind me of all the responses I came up with AFTER the fact when people would stop us in Walmart with our twins. It’s amazing all the stupid or very personal questions perfect strangers would come up with.