5 Books First Time Moms Should NOT Read
Lets face it… When it comes to books on pregnancy, and childbirth… there are a ton! And that means there are just as many crappy books out there that really shouldn’t be on the shelves, as good reads. But weeding through the titles can sometimes be a project, especially for a new mother who may not exactly know what she should be looking for.
With my oldest, I read some of the worst pregnancy books out there which scared the living crap out of me, and forced me into the train of thinking that every little bump, or movement I felt was something going extremely wrong.
So the books I think pregnant women should be skipping?
1. What to Expect While Expecting – This one scared me the most! I always thought there was something wrong. Every condition in the book my baby must have because it is in this super popular pregnancy book. Not only that, but it gives horribly inaccurate information about things like VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) even in their more up-to-date and revised copies.
2. The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy – No thanks! I read this and while at the time I thought some of it was cute, it basically beats you up if you have any interest in a natural childbirth, or something that may not be mainstream for this circle of women.
3. Belly Laughs – Anything by Jenny McCarthy when it comes to pregnancy and birth is really not worth the time of day. As most tongue in cheek books by celebrities. It should be used as comic relief, if that… not a pregnancy gospel, or learning tool.
4. Hands Off My Belly – While this book is about pregnancy and birth myths, after reading it… it really ranked up there with What to Expect because of the amount of information in there that is really backed by the way most Doctors practice today, and not real evidence based medicine.
5. Pregnancy for Dummies – Anything from the “Dummy” series should really be avoided when it comes to something like childbirth. I know that the series itself is really popular, but the books aren’t something we should be doing to as a guide for pregnancy and birth.
For a great list of recommended reading, check out 10 Best Pregnancy and Childbirth Books
photo: flickr.com/Phing.
I actually loved the What to Expect book. It was the only book I read with a depth of information… Horses for courses I suppose!
My favorite pregnancy book was “The Best Birth”. It seemed like every book I read basically said women who were interested in natural childbirth were delusional or that women who wanted an epidural were negligent and uninformed. That was the only one I read that I genuinely felt respected all the different ideas it discussed.
Totally agree about the Girlfriends Guide. She mocks natural childbirth like someone would be stupid to do it, that drove me crazy!
I loved What to Expect too. I’ve heard a lot of people complain about this book but I thought it was useful. There were parts I didn’t agree with and talked things over with my doctor but overall, I loved it. I bought the follow up books as well. I think the problem is not any one book is going to be perfect for anybody and ultimately us moms have to do what we feel is the right thing for our babies and ourselves. As much as any book or in-laws or breastfeeding Nazi nurses told me to feed on demand it wasn’t working for me. When my doctor asked me in my son’s 2 week appointment how breastfeeding was going I broke down and cried. I was ready to quit because I felt so much pressure from everybody including all the baby books to breastfeed on demand, I was ready to throw down the gauntlet and give up. My doctor explained that I should not feel guilty if I needed to put my son on a feeding schedule and get daddy to help out sometimes. If mommy was not happy, milk supply would not be at its premium, the baby would be able to sense my distress and who knows maybe I would have been affected by depression because I thought I was such a failure for hating breastfeeding. From there on I took all advice in, including any book’s advice, but only used what worked best for my family, through trial and error of course. I ended up breastfeeding for 5 months instead of 2 weeks. By the way, I’m not advising anyone to do what I did, my son was closely followed by our family doctor, we never missed an appointment and I always had a list of questions for her.
I threw What to Expect across the room. It had me so paranoid about the 12 week testing; I never looked again!
FIrst time moms should NOT read BABYWISE or any cry-it-out books. They take away all the fun and joy. All you need to do is hold and kiss the baby as much as you can. Crying it out will not help your child sleep, at least not before age 6 months. I have 3 children and I know.
@Annie – I agree! Babywise disturbs me beyond belief, and every time I see a copy in the thrift store… I buy it just so other parents can’t get their hands on it!
Right on Annie and Danielle! That book is crazy!
Amen on What to Expect. That book needs to GO AWAY…. but sadly it’s the only one a lot of women read.
Don’t agree with the What to Expect book on the list…..and, trust me, I tend to get paranoid….but that book was my bible, loved it….we’re now on What to Expect The Toddler Years…
I *loved* The Wonder Weeks. Book seriously saved my sanity. I definitely recommend this book if you have an infant! Doesn’t give you some “magical” or “instant” way to do anything, doesn’t preach. It just tells you about how your baby is developing and when they are going through major developmental leaps. So, you can stop wondering why your baby suddenly has a meltdown for now real reason – esp when she was just fine the day before. There’s nothing wrong, it’s just that he’s going through a major developmental spurt. So, you can stop trying to FIX these supposed problems and relax knowing if you just sit tight, your cheerful baby will be back in a few weeks. Plus it gives great games to play with your baby
The What To Expect books are great! Why are some women so afraid to inform themselves about anything other than NCB practices?
@Patricia – My opinion has nothing to do with natural childbirth practices at all. In fact when I had my oldest son (which I began to hate What to Expect) I did not plan a natural birth at all. Granted I didn’t want an epidural because the idea of a needle in my back freaked me out, I didn’t have a natural birth either.
Like I explained above, a lot of the information in the book is outdated, and not based on actual evidence based medicine, instead it is based off of common maternity practices today. Nothing to do with natural childbirth at all. Just a downright scary book for many women.
Totally agree with Annie…
Wow ~ I am so happy that so many people feel like I do regarding “Babywise”! That book is HORRIBLE!!!!!! If I ever see copies of this book at garage sales, I buy them so I can throw it away when I get home…..
I loved Jenny’s book! Yes I used it more for comic relief but it was educational none the less. Especially the poo chapter! I had NO IDEA about that so it was nice that she was pretty open about all that, made me feel a lot better in the “prude” area.
I enjoyed reading Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy because of the humour. It definitely helped this perfectionist mama to chill out. Having said that, I still did thinga my way, which included NCB. I don’t think a pregnant woman, especially first time, should read any one book. A lot of basic info is the same or similar, but the POV can be very different.
*things
My bad, I’m NAK
Man, the term “natural child birth” irks me! Some are medicated, others are unmedicated; some are via c-section, some are vaginal – but EVERY birth is NATURAL.
I relied on the What To Expect books a lot – I never felt scared by reading it. I was thankful to have a book to go to when I had a question.
I also felt that Dr. Sears’ baby book was very useful, and a good compliment to What T Expect.
I’d like to nominate “Knocked Up” by Rebecca Eckler, the two most astonishinly vapid, vain, selfish, and just plain ignorant mommy memoirs I’ve ever encountered. Eckler makes Iovine (Girlfriend’s Guide) look like Ina May Gaskin.
Actually, I can almost recommend them, in a reverse psychology kind of way – because NO ONE wants to follow that example.
(Ack – meant to add “and ‘Wiped’ to the 1st sentence. Sorry, I blame Daylight Savings.)
A stunning book that everyone SHOULD read, but one should definitely wait until they are not pregnant anymore, is “Having Faith: an ecologist’s journey to motherhood” by Sandra Steingraber. It’s one of the most beautiful books about pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding that I’ve ever read – but if you’re pregnant, it’ll scare the bejeebus out of you learning about every little thing affecting our environment that can be found in your pregnant body.
@Jenn: i couldnt agree with you more! i am fully aware that the things mentioned in ‘what to expect…’ are based on averages and that every woman and every pregnancy is different. as for the symptoms, i would never diagnose myself or the baby with some type of condition… if i was concerned, id call my doctor (duh).
I’d add Up the Duff by Kaz Cooke to the list. Totally useless. One of those ‘ friendly’ woman to woman books that more or less tells you that you’re a freak if you want to stay active and healthy during your pregnancy because you should be eating icecream, getting fat on the couch and then, oh surprise, end up having a c-section. Horror show! The woman’s attitude is all wrong as far as I’m concerned.
I’d include “You being pregnant” by Dr. Oz. It was a gift (I never would have paid for that one) and it got thrown because I could never subject another intelligent mother to that unorganized nonsense.
I liked What to Expect… I have been studying pregnancy and things of the nature for while (I’m going into nursing), so I mainly just used it as a way to see approximations of how my baby might be developing. I thought that it was interesting, I would just remind myself that every person and every pregnancy is different, and if I ever had any concerns my doctor was consulted. The best advice I can give is that you know you best, and when in doubt ask your health care provider. There is no shame in aynthing you may be feeling, thinking, or going through in this time in your life, so go ahead and get informed. Do not doubt yourself. You can do this.
I read What to Expect.. during my first pregnancy so thats the book I went to in my 2nd pregnancy when I was bleeding. It gave me a false idea that it is normal to bleed while pregnant turns out it isn’t normal and maybe if I had gone to the dr sooner I wouldn’t have lost that baby at 12 weeks or at least maybe I wouldn’t have freaked out so bad when I woke up in so much pain and barely made it to the bathroom before losing it.
My ND/Midwife called it “What Can Go Wrong When You’re Expecting”
i loved belly laughs …only a complete idiot would take it as a how to kinda book its just a funny look at pregnancy…so is pregnancy sucks that was funny as well ..i also loved what to expect i am using a version that’s over 13 years old
Add to that list “Skinny Bitch, Bun in the Oven”. It is HORRIBLE. The woman is SO MEAN. She says that if you take Tylenol for a headache, you are POISONING your body, that if you can’t handle the aches and pains, then you shouldn’t have gotten pregnant. The information is so extreme that my husband and I skimmed it and alternated between rage and laughter. Normally, we donate our used books, but this went right into the garbage because we didn’t want any other woman to read that stuff and actually believe it!
Even though I had heard that What to Expect was a good read, I never did read it before my own daughter was born, but my cousin did. She started saying she was going to do certain things or avoid certain things because that was in book, which were incorrect. After trying to help her understand that what the book said was not the facts and not being able to convince her otherwise because it was “in the book” I lost all respect for that book. Never read and don’t plan to now.
There are a lot of crappy books out there that seem to like to prey on scared and hormonal first time moms. I only got through a couple chapters of What to expect when my husband threw it away because I was getting so paranoid. The best book I read during pregnancy was The Baby Book by Dr Sears. I trusted his opinions because he has been a pediatrician for many years and has several children of his own. I thought he did a good job explaining his topics in a common sense way with out much judgement one way or the other. I still refer back to it when I have questions about my toddler. I just wish I had found a book or website that talked more in depth about what happens inside your body after the birth.