Tomorrow, I go to my fertility center for my 5th attempt at pregnancy. I keep telling myself, “It’s gotta happen one of these tries.” And it has happened before. My 2nd IVF cycle resulted in a twin pregnancy, but I lost my twins at 17 weeks when my water broke.
Tomorrow is my 5th IVF try, my 3rd FET (frozen embryo transfer).
That number seems so high to me. And when you’re working with a limited number of embryos, that number also seems heavy. We have two embryos left.
Uno. Dos. No mas.
I told you last month how I was stressing about how to decide how many embryos to transfer. One of my concerns with my last cycle was that, if it wasn’t successful (which it wasn’t), we’d be left to make a decision about the remaining two embryos.
It’s recommended that a woman “my age” (35) transfer two. After the unexplained loss of our twins at 17 weeks, we’ve been scared to transfer two. But now two is all we have left. And three previous attempts at pregnancy failed.
Transferring two embryos increases the likelihood of getting pregnant. That’s obviously our goal. It also increases —duh! the likelihood of being pregnant with twins. That thought scares me a bit. My body couldn’t do it the first time with twins. And since we don’t know why my water broke at 17 weeks, who’s to say my body can do twins at all?
But transferring two embryos doesn’t guarantee a twin pregnancy either. I know numerous women who’ve transferred two and ended up with a singleton pregnancy. And if I did get pregnant with twins (a real possibility with transferring two embryos), I’d face my fears, and be happy as heck to be expecting twins again.
Nothing is known. And like the old adage goes, “There are no guarantees in life.” I could transfer both, and still not get pregnant. At which point, I’d have to undergo a full IVF cycle again to retrieve more eggs, and we have sperm enough for one more full IVF round.
It wasn’t an easy decision, but we’ve decided to transfer both tomorrow.
It makes the most sense for us at this point in our journey, and we’re at peace with our choice.
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