With Black Friday just days away, I’ve had a few friends ask if I will be braving the crowds in search of those fantastic post-Thanksgiving sales.
I am compelled to laugh a little when posed with this question, because quite frankly, I would rather stick needles in my eyes than drag my swollen, aching, third-trimester frame out of the house on what I consider the most terrifying shopping day of the year.
Following are the top 7 reasons I will NOT be shopping on Black Friday!
1. Sick People — I’ve managed to stay relatively healthy throughout this pregnancy, and the idea of sharing airspace with an abundance of shoppers who didn’t get the memo about covering their cough makes me shiver.
2. Olfactory Overload — While I am finally beyond the morning sickness phase, certain aromas still bring on nausea. Body odor, plus too much perfume, equals certain illness for this pregnant woman.
3. I Have To Pee Every 15 Minutes — This baby is doing a head stand on my bladder, so when I have to go, I have to go. Fighting the crowds to use a public restroom 30 times just does not sound fun to me.
4. I Am A Walking Hot Flash — I start sweating at the mere thought of being in a crowded department store. I definitely can’t take the heat, so I’ll be staying out of the kitchen!
5. Fender Benders — With crazy shopping, comes crazing driving. I can’t count the times I’ve had a near miss on the street, or in a parking lot on Black Friday. This is just one more reason I am removing myself from the equation this year.
6. I Don’t Want To Hulk-out — My pregnancy hormones are in full force right now, and admittedly, I have a short, if not non-existent fuse in some situations. It is clearly best for everyone that I stay at home on Black Friday!
7. I’m Too Pregnant To Care — Seriously, I am 35-weeks-pregnant today, and fighting a crowd just to get a good deal on some random holiday gift is pretty much at the bottom of my priority list. I’ll stick to the comfort of my own sofa, and let my fingers do the walking on Cyber Monday!
So, will you be among the masses shopping this Black Friday?