I am so thankful my pregnancy is going well and that I am able to experience this again. Less than a year ago, I was ready to pack it in and take a break from the 14 month battle with infertility. I was worn out from all the charting, wondering, questioning, and waiting. I was afraid it wasn’t going to happen and if it did, I was afraid that my pregnancy would end too soon as it has 12 times before. I was envious of others who seemed to have it happen so easily.
Pregnancy envy while dealing with perinatal grief or the grief of infertility is not uncommon, but I don’t think it’s talked about a lot. Since it’s not typically an open discussion, those who are dealing with the envy, jealousy, guilt, and anger can sometimes feel like they’re not a good person, and there are a lot of confusing emotions that can do along with it.
I had pregnancy envy. I had it bad, and the confusing emotions of genuinely being happy for others, while being angry it wasn’t happening for me, was a weird place to be in. I felt like the only one dealing with these feelings and that made it all feel kind of worse. I am pregnant now, but there are still times where I feel that stir up again when someone gets pregnant so easily or has an easy, carefree pregnancy (again, those genuine feelings of happiness mixed with the “why not me?” factor hits).
If you’re dealing with pregnancy envy or baby envy, you are not alone and you’re not a bad person for what you’re feeling. There are some ways you can help manage your feelings and make the whole situation and process a lot easier on yourself.
Check out some tips on how to deal with pregnancy envy through loss or infertility:
:: How do you cope with pregnancy envy? Share in the comments! ::
Photo credits: istockphoto
More on Babble:
- 10 Things You Don’t Want to Hear the Doctor Say During Birth
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- 10 Unexpected Benefits of a Growing Baby Bump
- 12 Annoying Things People Do When They’re in Love
Devan is a freelance writer living in Toronto, Ontario with her husband, three kids and expecting baby #4 at the end of this year. Read more from Devan on Babble and “like” Accustomed Chaos on Facebook!