9 Funny Ways Pregnancy Ruins the Rest of Your Life

I love being pregnant (when I’m not sick and being constantly poked and prodded). So much so that there are things I’ll really miss after it’s over. A lot.

Being pregnant tends to give you a free pass to do/say/act in ways that might never be acceptable outside of your obvious pregnancy state. Many of us start to enjoy these little “freedoms” while we’re given the chance. At 19 weeks, I’m finding myself getting used to this pregnant way of life, and it’s going to be hard to change back to normal.

The majority of them seem to put a bit of a – damper – on the rest of life. When you’re back to your post pregnancy state, you might start to wonder why anyone would willingly go back or long for the days of no cravings, regular jeans, and dull hair.

These are my (and I know many others) experiences during pregnancy that *ruin* the rest of an un-pregnant life. Enjoy.

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  • image-3375 1 of 10
    image-3375
    Click through to see all my reasons!
  • Down with the Zippers 2 of 10
    Down with the Zippers
    You may have never thought twice about a zipper. They were there, you used them when you need to, the end. And then? Then you became pregnant and realized the AMAZING POWER of the maternity pants. On and off with just a tug for those frequent trips to the bathroom and to bolt out of bed when the doorbell rings for that UPS package. Suddenly zippers seem, well, evil. Designed to be a pain and to snare any attempts to move faster as a mom.
  • Pregnancy Rage is Real, Yo 3 of 10
    Pregnancy Rage is Real, Yo
    Maybe your partner thinks you're simply adorable all pregnant and angry. Bumping around the house with your big old belly. But when it's all over? It just becomes rage, and it's a lot less cute for everyone.
  • Naps 4 of 10
    Naps
    There's nothing quite as lovely as a pregnancy nap. That rings true later, as you try to wrestle your kid down for just an hour so you can take a break and drink ALL THE COFFEES to stay awake for the all nighter they're bound to pull. Naps are then taken upright, at 2am, out of sheer exhaustion, and woken by the sound of someone bawling who needs a diaper change.
  • Excuse Me… 5 of 10
    Excuse Me...
    Let one slip on your husband at night? Threw up a little in your work trash can? Sneezed and had to change your pants? Aw. It's all fun and games until you can't blame it on anything but yourself. Then it's really not very cute anymore, and no one wants to talk about it with you.
  • Midnight Cravings 6 of 10
    Midnight Cravings
    Cereal for a second dinner and cold mashed potatoes in the morning - it's totally normal to indulge those odd cravings during pregnancy. However, they can mess things up forever after. Most of us never get to experience that level of craving (or the ability to give in) outside of these 9ish months. Then it just looks weird to eat a mustard and chicken sandwich at 8am.
  • Phantom Kicks 7 of 10
    Phantom Kicks
    You're sitting down, working hard, and it happens. You feel like tiny little kick of a new life inside you. Only YOU AREN'T PREGNANT ANYMORE so that's creepy. Then you start to wonder if perhaps you've lost your mind, or worse - there might be a kid in there you didn't know about.
  • Hair Care 8 of 10
    Hair Care
    Most of us experience that wonderful side effect of pregnancy - fast growing, thick hair that looks like a million dollars. Now's the time to enjoy, because after the baby gets here you'll think you're going bald with postpartum hair loss, and your mane just never has that same shine and sparkle again.
  • Public Stomach Rubbings 9 of 10
    Public Stomach Rubbings
    Yes, everyone knows that pregnant women touch, rub, and massage their stomachs all the time. Anywhere. It's something most of us wouldn't think twice about when seeing. But a non-pregnant person? That would be weird. If I stood next to an obviously not pregnant woman giving her stomach a rub down, I'd move a few aisles away from her.
  • Belly Comparisons 10 of 10
    Belly Comparisons
    "We're expecting!" takes on a new meaning if your husband's stomach tends to match your growing one. That's cute - you might bump bellies at home or, like this couple, take pictures. Not so cute? ANYTIME EVER AFTER.

 

Diana blogs on raising a toddler daughter, the loss of her twin boys, and a new baby on the way on the aptly named Hormonal ImbalancesSmaller glimpses into her day are on TwitterFacebook, and Pinterest.

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