First I want to say thank you for giving me the opportunity to nurse my first born son. It was something that I really wanted to be able to do and five years ago I had no idea that it could be so difficult—if not impossible—for some women.
During those first moments of nursing I knew that my son wasn’t getting much but the bonding experience was incredible to me. My milk had yet to come in full force and when we had to supplement formula along with the nursing out of fear that he wasn’t getting enough to eat a part of me felt like a failure. Wasn’t it just supposed to work?
And then it happened.
My milk did come in and I was able to nurse pretty much full-time. When I went back to work I hand pumped several times a day—which was not fun—to keep my production up and have breast milk to feed my son along with formula if needed when I was away from home and unable to nurse.
I had no idea how long I would breast feed for or how well it would work out for my son and me. Turns out I would nurse for seventeen months. I remember the day that my son would nurse for the last time. It was August 17th, 2008. We nursed in the morning and then again at night which was our routine at that point. The next day he was done.
Just like that. Was I sad? A little. Was it time? I suppose it was since I let my son self-wean. He was ready and by proxy so was I.
It was weird to have you back to myself full-time. To know that the milk supply would soon stop and you would no longer be a food source. You were just my boobs again. But so different than you were before I gave birth. Not quite so perky but held in high esteem. You let me do something I had hope to be able to do. Again, I thank you for that.
In less than two weeks there will be another baby in our lives. I’m asking you once again dear boobs to step up to the task of helping feed this child. Breastfeeding was one of the really special moments to me the first time around and I am really hoping to be successful at it again. If not, I understand. But let’s give a try, shall we?