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A Note To My Beloved Vampire Baby & Chronic Back Pain Friend

Vampire Babies – yes, they are inappropriately real and prefer Led Zeppelin. Or else.

Here we go, in the home stretch of this blessed pregnancy and huzzah. Baby in mah belly I love you but ease up on yo’ mama’s organ’s just a tad, mmk? There’s much more room other than all up in my ribs, and my spleen? I kind of need that. I am seriously starting to wonder if you are the world’s earliest teether with perhaps the sharpest eye teeth. Or maybe I’m fantasizing too much about when True Blood is going to start, because I am sorely missing something to watch when I play hooky from work am on my lunch break.

These are the random thoughts (oh, there’ s more), of a slightly crazed, sleep deprived pregnant woman. Because my 19 month old is in fact really teething and up numerous times throughout the night and the other organ my sweet, darling, Vampire Baby likes to party on is my bladder. I’m already a light sleeper who battles night terrors. Oy vey. Couple that with some fantastic sciatica of the gluteus maximus, severe chronic back pain due in part to a slightly herniated disk and lovely side effect of having Hydrosalpinx, which I talked about over here…makes for some trying times these days.

Wolverine Baby. Equally real. Marvel rawks so hard.

I’m caught between wishing for an early debut of my energetic little bundle of joy and panicking because I am COMPLETELY unprepared, so no, PLEASE don’t come early my little Wolverine. The kiddo’s will be sharing a room (eventually as we’ll most likely co-sleep for the 1st 9 moths – a year like we did with Wyndham) and I’m doing wall stencils and sewing the curtains myself. None of which I have started, never-mind stocking up the shelves with bunting, layette and diapers, clean and fresh, ready to go. We have to install the car seat, in the new van we are supposed to be getting, make our baby hammock and finish about 5 projects around the house we are in the final stages of renovating, because if we don’t?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! That can’t happen! It will never get done after the new baby is here and I am completely within reason and rationally of sane mind when I say, its all mandatory. Tell me otherwise. G’head, I dare you.

So with all of this to do, what did I take on this weekend? Nothing. Zero. Zip. Nada. I slept in glorious, gluttonous amounts when in the in-laws-to-be kindly took our boy for the weekend so I could specifically get started on/finish some of these projects. Talk about majorly sucking. Me. Yes, I am kvetching. And that’s okay. Surely there are many other pregnant women out there who need a good kvetch, yes? It’s okay, I promise. You are still a good mommy/mommy-to-be and a super-hero goddess of the highest order. You are not alone or an alien from another planet as some of your better halves may have you think. Mine has learned that the hard way.

Top image courtesy Catherine Conners, of Her Bad Mother.

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